


The CATastrophe

by justfandomthings



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Falling In Love, Female Loki (Marvel), Female Relationships, Female Tony Stark, Getting Together, Hurt Tony Stark, Love Confessions, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Protective Bruce Banner, Protective Loki (Marvel), Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-13 04:23:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 21,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14741924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justfandomthings/pseuds/justfandomthings
Summary: “With this power, you shall have the characteristics of the animal that is most similar to your own!” Laughing gleefully, most likely at Toni’s absolute dumbstruck expression, she could imagine, Toni watched as the light flickered in the woman’s hand. A black circle began to circle her and with a wave, laugh, and a cheerful, “Good luck, Toni Stark!” Toni felt herself be swept into a circle of power and light.She clawed for purchase on something, anything, so she wouldn’t fall, but it did her no good. She crashed to the ground and could only groan as the world seemed to go black and her fate was sealed.She had ten days to make Loki fall in love with her- and admit it- or she would die.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [parapringles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/parapringles/gifts).



“Stark!” Loki called as she scanned in and entered the workshop. The lights were on yet there was no sign of the engineer as she walked around. “FRIDAY, where’s Stark?” Loki asked as she bent down to peer under the workbench.

But the AI did not respond.

 _This must be payback for yesterday’s prank,_ Loki realized. “Damn you, Stark,” she sighed as she plopped down on the workbench and pulled her hair into a ponytail. Pulling out her phone, she fired off a quick text to Thor, saying, _Stark is going to prank me. Come back so you can protect me?_

_I’ll pass. I’m sure you deserve it. ;)_

Damn him too.

Sighing, Loki said loudly, “Enough, Stark. I cannot find you, congratulations, now come out here. We were supposed to train together an _hour_ ago. I know you enjoy being late but an hour is a bit extreme, even for you. And I do not like to be kept waiting-”

“Ma’am, if I may interrupt your rant?” FRIDAY said, sounding shy.

Loki blinked. “Only if you have something important to say,” she said suspiciously. “You’re not trying to distract me, are you? Because that would eliminate my tolerance of you.”

“I believe Boss is coming in through the garage,” FRIDAY said slowly. “But she…I think she requires assistance.”

“Assistance? Is she hurt?” Loki demanded, spinning around and heading for the exit without any hesitation.

“I am unsure.”

Loki paused in the doorway of the workshop. “What does that mean? Why would she require my assistance if she wasn’t hurt?”

“Please, go to my Boss,” FRIDAY said, sounding close to begging. “She does not seem well.”

“Contact the others,” Loki ordered as she teleported into the garage. But she didn’t see anyone and immediately swore in annoyance. “She isn’t here,” Loki snapped. “You summoned me here for absolutely nothing- _oh._ This was all part of some payback prank of Stark’s, wasn’t it?”

“Please don’t leave!” the AI burst out. “Boss is behind the 1967 Coupe. She does not seem able to talk; please, assist her.”

 _She cannot talk? Why?_ Confused and feeling a flash of fear for the second time in as many minutes, Loki walked quickly to the Coupe. “Stark?” she called, rounding the side of the car… and coming to a sudden stop when she saw Stark on her hands and knees on the ground.

“Stark!” Loki crouched down and placed a comforting hand on Stark’s back, gasping at how warm the woman felt. “FRIDAY, contact Dr. Banner _now,_ she is not well at all,” Loki ordered as she helped Stark sit down and lean against the car. “And scan her vitals.”

“I have already called for Dr. Banner and he is en route along with your brother,” FRIDAY responded tensely.

“You are much too warm,” Loki murmured, cupping Stark’s face in her hands so she could look at Stark more clearly. Normally bright, curious brown eyes now were dull, making Stark look dazed and unsure of their surroundings.

“Loki?” Dr. Banner yelled from some distance. “Where are you? What happened?”

“Here,” Loki called, her magic flickering to light a path for the doctor to follow from his location to theirs.

Stark groaned, one of her hands coming up to slap at Loki’s weakly. Loki took hold of her wrist, pressing two fingers to her pulse point to gently take her pulse.

Dr. Banner dropped to his knees beside Loki, saying sharply, “Your magic, it's frightening her,” before he took a stethoscope out of his bag and brought it to Stark’s chest, listening.

“What’s wrong with her?” Loki demanded. “She was fine this morning when I saw her, she did not appear to be unwell at all-”

It was then that she became aware of the slight pull of her magic towards the downed Avenger. Frowning, Loki laid her hand on Stark’s arm. “This is not a Midgardian illness,” she murmured. “She has been cursed.”

“Yes, she has,” said a grim voice from behind them. Loki looked up to find Strange walking through a portal, his eyes dark and filled with barely contained worry and anger as he knelt down and took Stark’s hand in his own. “FRIDAY called me,” he explained.

“Toni, can you hear me?” Strange asked, bringing his other hand to Stark’s face and tapping her cheek lightly. Stark looked up at him and visibly slumped in relief, seeming to recognize the doctor with ease. Strange gave a small smile that made Loki’s chest tighten when she saw the softness that lit the man’s eyes whenever he looked at Stark.

 _You're not supposed to care,_ she reminded herself with some annoyance. _You are Stark’s sometimes friend, that is all. And you do NOT want more._

“Should I prepare a basin with cold water?” Banner asked.

Strange nodded. “Please. We need to lower her temperature, as well as figure out a way to help her temperature remain that way. I have a feeling this spike in body temperature is part of the curse.”

“I will assist you, Banner,” Thor offered, following the doctor upstairs to create what Loki could imagine would become a medical bay.

Once they had disappeared upstairs, Strange asked softly, “Toni, can you tell me what happened?”

Stark shook her head, looking to make a weak attempt at raising her hand to her throat. “You cannot talk,” Loki realized, frightened.

“I think I know why… Toni, is it alright if I give you a quick scan using my magic?” Strange asked.

When Stark slowly nodded her consent, Strange waved his hand and a warm circle of golden light encompassed the engineer. When the light faded, Strange announced grimly, “This curse has given you the normal body temperature of a kitten, but because you are still mortal and not in a cat’s body, your body is reacting to the temperature change as if you have a fever and are ill. Do you understand?”

Stark nodded weakly. _Most likely she had figured that out already,_ Loki thought to herself silently judging by the lack of surprise in Stark’s eyes. _Then again, it is possible the fever is clouding her mind._

“There is something else about this curse...there’s some sort of timer,” Strange frowned. “But something is interfering with my attempts to find a reversal.”

“Perhaps the questions can wait until Boss is feeling better?” FRIDAY suggested softly. “For now, we need to focus on lowering her temperature.”

“Of course.” Strange went to pick up Stark, who was in no shape to walk, but Loki cut in with a curt “I’ve got her” and so the doctor backed off. Loki carefully lifted Stark into her arms and stood, hating how Stark’s head fell limply to her shoulder. Strange created a portal for them to walk through and when Loki did, she found herself in Stark’s quarters.

“Lay her on the bed,” Banner requested softly.

Loki knelt on the bed and carefully transitioned Stark from her arms to the bed. She was halfway off the bed when Stark’s fingers encircled her wrist, a silent request for Loki to stay at her side.

Swallowing hard at the unexpected but not unwelcome plea, Loki sat down on the bed and leaned against the bedpost. She combed her fingers through Stark’s hair, pulling her hair off to the side as Dr. Banner leaned down and pressed a damp cloth to Stark’s forehead.

Her head rolling limply, Stark uttered a silent moan at the coldness of the cloth.

“Sorry,” Dr. Banner murmured but did not stop his administrations.

“FRIDAY, where is Rhodes? I'm sure he would like to be notified,” Loki said softly.

“He is traveling out of state for a funeral. Boss asked me not to bother him two days ago,” FRIDAY said, sounding glum. “I have been instructed not to contact the colonel until he is on his way home.”

Loki sighed. “Very well. We will simply have to suffice as adequate friends for Toni until Rhodes returns.”

Silence fell over the room and confused, Loki looked up to find all eyes were on her. “What?” she snapped irritably.

“You called her ‘Toni,’” Dr. Banner explained. “You've never called her Toni before.”

“I have called her by her first name many times…” Loki said slowly, recalling many nights of restlessness where Toni- _Stark_ had been her anchor that grounded her in safety instead of allowing her to fall to the demons inside her own mind. Clearing her throat she added, “Just not in front of others.”

“FRIDAY, scan her vitals again,” Strange directed.

“Pulse is stronger but her temperature is holding steady.”

“Damn. This isn't working. A 103 fever isn't critical to a human...but for a kitten…”

“It's too close for comfort,” Strange agreed.

“I can cool her,” Loki said quietly. “My body temperature runs considerably lower…”

Stark looked up dizzily, meeting her eyes. “How about it, Stark, wanna cuddle?” Loki teased. “You certainly flirt with me often enough to be interested.”

A small smile flickered onto Stark’s face and she nodded. “I shall help you,” Thor murmured, coming over to help Stark into Loki’s arms. “There, Friend Toni. I am quite sure my sister will be able to help you feel better.”

“Yes, I'm sure,” Strange agreed, though Loki couldn't help but notice how there was something tense in his voice. “Well, we'll leave you two to it. FRIDAY, let us know if there's any concerning change in Toni’s vitals.”

Dr. Banner reached over and rubbed Stark’s shoulder gently. “Feel better, Tones. We'll figure this out, I promise.”

“On behalf of Boss and myself, thank you,” FRIDAY responded quietly.

Once they were alone, Loki asked quietly, “Are you comfortable like this?”

Stark nodded, appearing to be sleepy.

“Good, but...I would best be able to help you if I was…oh, what’s the term? ‘Spooning,’ I believe it is called. If I spoon you, I will be able to lower your temperature most easily. Would that be alright?"

Meeting her eyes, Stark nodded her consent.

Her display of trust was surprising and more touching than Loki would care to admit. “Okay, then I am going to have you lay on your side, alright? And then I am going to lay behind you, quite close, I'm afraid.” Loki grimaced. “It is the easiest way to transfer my coolness to your feverish self.”

In response, Stark just pulled out of Loki’s arms and laid onto her side. Loki studied her for a moment as she gave herself the time to slow her pounding heart. This was her helping an ill friend. That’s all this was. Nothing more.

Announcing her movements with a murmur, Loki carefully laid down on her side and pressed closer. When she was in a position that comforted them both, she cautiously laid her arm over Stark’s abdomen.

“Okay?” she whispered.

Stark nodded.

“Tap me if you are uncomfortable or want me to move,” Loki requested as she rested her chin on Stark’s shoulder.

“Ms. Loki, are you familiar with either Morse Code or the American Sign Language?” FRIDAY asked.

“My All-Speak allows me to understand both,” Loki replied. She glanced down at Stark, whose eyes were already closed. “You can use both to communicate with me, can’t you?”

_Yes._

Loki grinned. “I’m very nearly impressed, Stark. Well done.”

_Thank you. I impressed myself._

Laughing, Loki allowed her eyes to close. “Only you could irritate a witch enough for her to spell you with the characteristics of a kitten,” she teased.

_I’m special, what can I say?_

“You are quite fast at tapping morse code onto my arm, I will give you that.”

_Watch it._

“Watch what?”

Sensing Stark’s glare, Loki opened her eyes to find that yes, Stark was actually looking at her. “I’m a good show, aren’t I?” she smirked. “Like looking at me?”

Curiously enough, she did not receive a response to that. But Loki didn’t press for an answer, realizing somewhere deep inside of her that she wasn’t unattractive; Stark genuinely flirted with her often enough for Loki to believe that her looks were somewhat eye-appealing. (It was more than she could have said a few months ago, given her heritage, but Loki didn’t have the energy to think about it.)

Closing her eyes again, Loki slowly drifted off to sleep with Stark held securely in her arms.

*****

_I’m not dead, Toni realized with a growing relief as she opened her eyes and looked around the underside of the bridge. That’s a surprise._

_I wonder what animal I most closely relate to._

_Wait, does that mean she basically turned me into my spirit animal without actually turning me into my spirit animal? That makes absolutely no sense, that’s not a good sign, things always make sense to me._

_“Oh my god,” someone shrieked, their voice suddenly much too loud and their hand much too close to her for Toni’s liking._

_Right, I’m on the ground still. Definitely doesn’t give off the best impression, does it?_

_“Paul, call 911, she’s not moving!”_

_Toni struggled to roll onto her side and suddenly seeing someone approaching her quickly was suddenly way too much for her to handle so soon after waking up._

_Terrified for her life for an unexplainable reason, Toni stumbled to her feet and ran. She ran until she was far, far away from the park. She ran until the sun had fallen; until she had lost all sense of direction because it was getting too dark outside for her to see._

_Absolutely terrified, Toni didn’t stop running until she had the Compound in her sights. She was hot, she was SO hot, but she couldn’t stop running, not until she was safe. But...was the Compound safe?_

_Or...was there something in the Compound that represented safety? Someone? Why did she have to go to the Compound?_

_Utterly confused but knowing the Compound was where she had to go, Toni ran over to the garage, scanned herself in, and only made it a few paces before her legs gave out from under her and she fell._

_She was in and out of awareness after that, only heard a word mumbled here and a word there. She remembered hearing Loki tell her she was too warm, but she didn't seem to mean it in the ‘hot damn, you're sexy’ kind of way. She remembered the softness in Stephen’s eyes, the way his hand had never left Toni’s as he used his other hand to scan Toni for the curse. She remembered random words about fevers and needing to be cooled down, and then there was nothing until suddenly she was more coherent._

_Certainly more so once she was being cuddled by Loki. THAT was an unexpected change of events but Toni was not about to complain. This would likely be the one and only time Loki would ever cuddle her, so she was going to take what she got when she got it._

_Sighing, Toni closed her eyes. She could feel Loki’s steady breathing behind her and her heartbeat was calming. It was odd because Toni had never found Pepper’s heartbeat comforting. Then again, she had always been the one who had been-_

_“Toni, your thoughts are loud. I know today has been a trying day but you are safe now. I promise,” came a half-asleep voice into her ear._

_Toni suppressed a shudder. Loki's sultry, British voice murmuring her name had never failed to interest Toni and even exhausted, emotionally drained, and cursed, Loki still had that effect on her._

_Loki seemed to be stifling a yawn. “Sleep now,” she murmured, appearing to go back to sleep herself._

_Sleep sounded good. Yeah, right after she finished memorizing the way it felt to be held in Loki’s arms._

_She'd do that. Priorities, after all. And then she'd sleep._

*****

“How is she?”

“Still asleep,” Loki replied absently as she took a seat on a barstool in the kitchen. “Her temperature is down to 100, although I suspect we will see a fluctuation between ninety-nine to one-oh-two as that is the standard range of temperature for kittens.”

“Toni’s going to hate that,” Dr. Banner said ruefully as he handed Loki a plate of food. “And we need to figure out some things, mainly, what we're going to tell Cap and who's going to pilot the armor if we're called out.”

“We tell them she's ill, that she can't possibly fight. It's not far from the truth. And if we are called to battle, FRIDAY can operate the armor.”

“We'll confirm with Toni, but yeah, that should work.” The doctor sighed. “I feel so helpless. We don't even know who cursed her, why, or for her long!”

“I'm sure we will have answers once she is awake and we have a conversation with her.”

Sensing the presence of someone behind her, Loki turned to see Stark was standing in the doorway, her hair disheveled as she yawned and took a seat on a stool next to Loki.

“Hey, Toni. You want something to eat?” Dr. Banner asked, holding out a plate of eggs and sausage.

Stark shook her head. _“Not hungry,”_ she signed.

“When was the last time you ate?” Loki frowned.

_“Yesterday morning.”_

“Then you need to eat something.”

“Loki, what's she saying? I don't know sign language that well yet.”

_“Yet?”_

Dr. Banner seemed to have understood the gesture because he shrugged and said sheepishly, “I um, kinda figured learning sign language would help us communicate, you know because you know it already. So, I started learning it overnight?”

Stark looked as if she was going to respond but then changed her mind to get up and hug the doctor. Loki looked away, allowing them to have their moment, and when Stark pulled away, relief shown heavily in her eyes with the knowledge that she would be able to communicate more easily with others.

“Do you have plans for today?” Loki asked, pausing in her eating so she could observe Stark’s hand gestures.

_“Just some SI work. Although, I would gladly set that aside if it meant spending more time with you.”_

Loki winked. “In your dreams, maybe.”

Something flickered in Stark’s eyes and then fizzled out as a look of panic came across her features. She stood, her chair scraping against the floor as she began signing apologies left and right.

“Calm yourself!” Loki ordered, reaching for Stark with some mild unease. “What happened? Did I say something?”

_“The Curse. I remembered something. I need to go.”_

“Toni!” Dr. Banner called, but the engineer had already run from the room.

Loki slumped in her chair. “Did I say something wrong?” she questioned to the doctor.

Banner frowned. “I don’t know what made her so upset. You and Toni flirt all the time…”

Did Stark not want to flirt with her anymore?

But they had done so since Loki had first arrived on Midgard with Thor, the doctor, and their people all those months ago. And they had even flirted when Loki had held Stark in her arms to lower her body temperature. What could have possibly changed since the night to make Stark suddenly not want to flirt with her anymore?

Was it the fact that they had cuddled?

Groaning, Loki shoved her plate of food away and went to find Valkyrie so they could spar. Thinking about it was doing her no good, it was only making her upset.

_Sentiment really is a defect._

*****

_“Toni Stark, I need to speak with ye,” an old, wobbling voice whispered in Toni’s ear._

_Whirling around, Toni was halfway to transforming her watch to her repulsor when she realized who was speaking to her. Rather, when she realized the wobbly-sounding voice was genuinely a wobbly voice because the person she was talking to was an old lady._

_But that still didn’t explain why the woman wanted to speak with her._

_“Excuse me, kiddos, I’ll be right back to finish this very important game of hide-and-seek. Jake, why don’t you count for me, okay? I’ll be back as soon as I can,” Toni called as she offered her arm to the woman and assisted her out of earshot of the children so they were standing underneath a bridge._

_“Ma’am, how can I help you?”_

_“Oh, you can’t help me,” the woman blinked, seeming to lose nearly three-quarters of her lifespan in a single second. “I’m here to help you.”_

_“Whoa.” Toni stepped back, staring at the woman. “What the hell just happened?”_

_“What?”_

_“You. You...de-aged.”_

_“Oh, that. Nevermind me, dearie, I’m a witch. I can do things like that. It’s no big deal.”_

_“No big deal,” Toni repeated numbly. “So, you can just wipe fifty years of your life like it’s nothing?”_

_“Of course!” The now thirty-year-old-looking woman smiled innocently at Toni. “Now, onto the matter at hand. I believe you require my aid. Wouldn’t you agree?”_

_Toni stared at her, utterly confused. “Aid? I’m sorry, what makes you think that I need your help?” She sighed, suddenly understanding. “You’ve got something to do with SI Board, don’t you. Figures, they hire the weirdest characters nowadays. Look, just because Pep and I aren’t in a relationship anymore doesn’t mean that SI is going to tank. Okay? Stark Industries is doing just fine and we don’t need any help. Great, thanks for stopping by, have a nice day.” Toni turned to go back to the kids but halted when the woman/witch cackled,_

_“Oh, dearie, I couldn’t care less about your company. I’m here about your happiness.”_

_Toni turned around. “I’m sorry, my happiness? What does that have to do with anything?”_

_The woman clucked sadly. “No wonder they sent me here. You’re even worse off than I had thought.”_

_“I’m sorry, ‘they?” Who sent you here and why?” Toni paused, her mind rushing with sudden concerns and speculations. Right, first things first. Reaching into her jacket pocket, she slipped out her glasses and raised them to her face. But she only got so far before the woman slapped them out of her hand and stepped on them, shattering them._

_“Hey!” Toni cried out, now beginning to become fearful. She was in the middle of a park with probably a hundred or so innocent children, mothers, and family members around, and she was about to get attacked. How fan-fucking-tastic._

_“Don’t worry, sweetpea. I’m not here to hurt you. I only want to help you.”_

_“Help me with what?!”_

_“Being happy, of course.”_

_“I am happy.”_

_“No, you are not.”_

_“Excuse me? I think I would have a pretty good idea of how I feel, thank you very much.”_

_“You are in love with Loki,” the woman burst out. "But you refuse to do anything about it, stopping your own self from being happy."_

_Toni gaped at her for a long moment before she burst into laughter. “Who the hell told you that?” She stopped. “Oh my god, the magic, the wizardry...this is one of Loki’s expertise pranks, isn’t it? God, this is so uncool. Well, you can go back to Loki and tell her it didn’t work. I’m not falling for any more of your tricks.”_

_“This is not a trick.” The woman waved her hand and immediately a hologram-type thing appeared, displaying an image of Toni and Loki sat together on the roof of the Compound as they talked about their fathers._

_Toni looked away, recalling the way her voice had cracked as she had shared about how she’d never been able to live up to Howard’s expectations because she wasn’t Cap, for one thing, but also because she was a female and therefore not worthy of the Stark name._

_And when she had been finished with her pathetic spiel, Loki had not laughed. She had not brushed aside Toni’s pain as if it were nothing, no, she just listened and then she shared her own story about how Odin had seen her as inferior for many reasons, two of them being that she didn’t aspire to be a warrior like Thor and that she was a woman and therefore not a worthy successor of the throne._

_“Look at the way you look at her,” the witch nudged gently. “Don’t you see the love shining in your eyes? You look at Loki as if she is your entire world. Is this not because you love her?”_

_“That’s ridiculous!” Toni scoffed. “I don’t love her.”_

_The witch’s eyes flashed angrily. “Why do you deny yourself the opportunity to be happy, Toni Stark? If you look at Loki…” She waved her hand, allowing for many more illusions to appear. “If you look at Loki in these instances, don’t you see the same love shining in her eyes for you that shines in your eyes for her?”_

_“That’s ridiculous,” Toni said weakly, taking a step back. “Loki doesn’t love me. Why would she possibly love someone like me, let alone LIKE someone like me? No, no, you’re just using your witchy-powers to show me a lie that you know I want to believe. And it’s not gonna work, not today, not ever.”_

_“I wish you hadn’t said that,” the witch said sadly as her eyes lit with an unexplainable fire of power._

_Toni gaped at her. “What the hell is that?” she demanded, taking a desperate step back. “What are you doing?”_

_“I am helping you, Toni Stark. I am going to help you find the happiness and love that you deserve.” The witch-woman-person began chanting underneath her breath._

_“This is insane,” Toni muttered. Whirling, she began to run but she only made it a few feet before she felt something she couldn’t see tighten around her waist, keeping her still. “Let me go!” Toni demanded, struggling to break free even though she was quickly realizing it was pointless._

_“Oh, darling, it’s alright,” the woman soothed, stroking her hand down Toni’s cheek. “I’m not going to hurt you. I only want to help you be happy and have the love and care that you deserve.” A small fireball of light and magic appeared in her hand, causing Toni’s breath to quicken. “First, I shall take your voice. If you were to simply be able to talk to Loki, that would be quite easy and that would not help you in your quest to have Loki admit to loving you.”_

_“My voice? What?” Toni said shakily, trying to reach for her throat but finding she was still helpless to move any of her limbs. The woman was in her personal space now, reaching for with the fireball of magic and-_

_The magic struck her and Toni gasped, without sound, as her voice was silenced._

_“Very good,” the woman murmured, eyeing Toni with barely contained elation. “Here are some important things to note, Miss Stark. My curse will last for ten days, during which you must make Loki confess to loving you- she has had these feelings for quite a while so you shouldn’t feel bad- or else you will suffer my punishment.”_

_“What punishment?” Toni tried to ask, only to realize that her voice was indeed gone. Her VOICE was GONE, oh my god, what the hell was she going to do now? How would she talk to Loki? Or Bruce? Or Stephen? God, she needed all their help to break the spell or curse or whatever it was and-_

_“I can see the question in your eyes so I shall put your worry to rest. You will have ten days to make Loki confess to her feelings for you or else you will die.”_

_Great, that seemed reasonable- die? Did she say die? God, this couldn’t be happening. She was going to KILL Toni if she didn’t make Loki confess to loving her??_

_What a bitch._

_First of all, Loki didn’t even love her and she was supposed to somehow play some Little Mermaid shit and woo Loki as if she was Ariel and Loki was Prince Eric? What kind of fucking-_

_“But because that is too easy and the point is to make you realize your own self-worth, I am going to give you an even bigger obstacle than just a missing voice to face.”_

_Because losing her voice wasn’t bad enough. How great. How fucking fantastic because being cursed by a witch was DEFINITELY on her list of things to do today._

_Fuck her life._

_“With this power, you shall have the characteristics of the animal that is most similar to your own!” Laughing gleefully, most likely at Toni’s absolute dumbstruck expression, she could imagine, Toni watched as the light flickered in the woman’s hand. A black circle began to circle her and with a wave, laugh, and a cheerful, “Good luck, Toni Stark!” Toni felt herself be swept into a circle of power and light._

_She clawed for purchase on something, anything, so she wouldn’t fall, but it did her no good. She crashed to the ground and could only groan as the world seemed to go black and her fate was sealed._

_She had ten days to make Loki fall in love with her- and admit it- or she would die._

*****

After Stark’s mysterious disappearance from the kitchen, Loki didn’t see Stark throughout the rest of the day. She busied herself with sparring with Valkyrie, with conversing with Thor about Asgardian policies, and then by practicing a new spell she was working on.

And when night fell, she was startled to realize that throughout the course of the day, she had completely forgotten about Stark and the spell she was under.

Startled, she found herself changing from her nightclothes back into her jeans and green t-shirt so she could wander the halls of the Compound in search of Stark.

She was just about to give up when she found Stark sitting on the edge of a small training facility a half-mile from the Compound. Sighing to herself, she used her magic to lift herself to the ledge Stark was sitting on and then she sat down beside her with a gentle, “Your mind seems more troubled tonight than recent nights.”

Without looking at her, Stark tapped her watch twice so it lit with enough light for them to see each other. She then pulled her phone from her pocket, typed a short message, tapped the screen, and then FRIDAY’s voice read aloud, _“You could say that.”_

“Do you wish to talk about it?”

_“Not particularly.”_

“Very well then.” Loki looked over at Stark, noticing the dark circles under her eyes and the way there was the lightest sheen of sweat on her forehead. Murmuring her intent, she reached over slightly and brushed the back of her hand to Stark’s forehead. “Your temperature has returned,” she frowned.

_“Cats have a higher normal body temp. than humans.”_

“I am aware…” Loki sighed. “I was hoping your temperature would stay on the lower end of that spectrum.”

_“Not that lucky, I guess.”_

Loki hesitated for a moment and then said, “Tell me about when you were cursed. Do you remember what the person looked like? Did they give you a name? Did the person say what you were being cursed with?”

_“It was a woman, unidentified. Not from Earth, I don’t think. I’m cursed with the characteristics of a cat, minus the actual being-a-cat thing. Thank God for small miracles.”_

“Why a cat? Did she say?”

Stark shrugged. _“I’m like a cat, don’t ask me how, that’s just what she said. Kind of.”_

“This timer that the curse is on, do you know how long you will be cursed?”

Stark shook her head, not looking at Loki.

“Did she give a reason for cursing you?”

_“What do you want, Loki?”_

Loki blinked. “Beg pardon?”

_“Why are you here? Don’t you have a better way to be spending your time?”_

That was...unexpected. “I was concerned when you did not show your face after you ran out of this morning’s breakfast,” Loki said carefully. “So I came to look for you, make sure you were of good health.”

_“Like you care.”_

Loki inhaled sharply. “I am not sure what I did to upset you, but I will not tolerate your insinuation that I do not care about you. I think you have ample reason to understand that you are my friend, and your doubt is not at all appreciated.”

Stark deflated, something in her clearly weakening as she lowered her head to her knees. FRIDAY’s voice was quiet when she dictated the typed message: _“Sorry.”_

“Was it the flirting this morning? Is that what I did to upset you?”

_“You didn’t do anything. I’m just...overreacting about nothing.”_

Loki sighed. “Fine, I will drop the subject.” She stood and offered her hand to Stark. “I take it you are going to reside in my bed tonight so I can lower your temperature?”

Stark took her hand, allowing herself to be pulled to her feet, but there was a dull pain in her eyes as she typed her message. _“I think I’ll be okay tonight on my own. Thanks, though.”_

Frowning, Loki shrugged nonchalantly as if she wasn’t bothered. “Of course. Well, I’ll say goodnight then.”

They got to the bottom floor of the training center and were standing outside before Stark’s program said quietly, _“Goodnight, Loki.”_

“Goodnight.” Loki turned and had walked several paces in the direction of the Compound when she paused and turned around. “My offer stands if you change your mind.”

She didn’t receive a response but she wasn’t expecting one. Making such an offer had been ridiculous, a fool’s attempt of telling Stark that she truly did not care if they were to share a bed because Loki had often times thought of bringing Stark to her bed in a... less innocent way.

Once she was a decent distance from the training facility, Loki teleported herself to her bedroom and changed into her sleeping gear before she turned the light out and went to bed.

And when, sometime later in the middle of the night, she felt a dip in pressure to her right before a too-warm body curled against her, Loki simply turned onto her side, draped her arm over Stark’s waist, and went back to sleep.

*****

_“Boss, you have a houseguest,” FRIDAY announced into the silence of the workshop._

_Toni lifted her head from her desk and glumly typed out her response._

_“No, it’s Dr. Banner. You know, Boss, if you make me turn away Loki when she comes to see you, it’ll be incredibly obvious that you are avoiding her.”_

_Surprised at the bluntness of FRIDAY’s comment, Toni sat up straighter and typed her response._

_“Oh, of course not,” FRIDAY huffed. “You only ask me who’s visiting you every time someone comes down here because you don’t want to be with Loki.”_

_Toni didn’t have anything to say in response to that. Because she DID want to be with Loki...but she couldn’t. She shouldn't. Loki was the person she loved, was the person she was supposed to woo in order to break her curse. But if she spent time with Loki, she’d be pitied because she couldn’t speak and was feverish because her body temperature matched that of a cat, and if Loki pitied her, the greater the chances were that Loki would…_

_Well, that was ridiculous. Loki would never love her._

_But if she spent more and more time with Loki, especially with all the cuddling going on to keep Toni from losing her mind from a fucking fever, it would increase the chances that Loki would develop some sort of feelings, and they had been friends for months so if Loki did develop feelings during the seven days she had left…_

_It just felt like manipulation to her. Like, “Look at me, I’m going to die if you don’t love me back!” So, if Loki cared at all about her, she’d say she loved her in order to spare her life._

_And that wasn’t right._

_No, she wasn’t going to say anything to Loki about her curse. And she was going to spend as little time as possible with Loki so she wouldn’t allow for the off-chance that Loki could develop feelings for her. Because if she did, it would simply be resulting from the curse, and that wasn’t right at all._

_“Toni? Toni! FRIDAY, contact-”_

_Snapping out of her thoughts, Toni reached for Bruce and curled her fingers around his wrist, effectively ending his quick-to-panic thoughts._

_“Toni,” Bruce sighed. “God, don’t do that to me! I’ve been trying to get your attention for over five minutes and you’re feeling feverish again and…”_

_Toni reached her phone and tapped, teasing, “So you panicked?”_

_“Yeah,” Bruce admitted sheepishly. He took a seat next to her and asked, “How are you feeling?”_

_Toni shrugged, typing a brisk, “Fine.”_

_“FRIDAY tells me you are avoiding Loki. Did something happen?”_

_Turning in her chair, Toni glared at the nearest of FRIDAY’s cameras. She snatched her phone and typed angrily. Bruce leaned over her shoulder and sighed. “Alright, I’ll let it go for now. But please, whatever happened between the two of you, sort it out, okay? She really cares about you and I know you care about her too.”_

_Blinking in surprise, Toni turned to look at Bruce. He offered her a tired smirk. “Don’t look so surprised, Toni. Loki pulls pranks with you. She doesn’t do that with anyone else. She apparently calls you by your first name which puts you on the same page as Thor. She also lets you steal her food without killing you, which is something else. Not to mention the fact that she stepped between you and the press after you had that panic attack last week, and she also-”_

_Toni waved her hand in the air, using her other hand to sign frantically, “Fine, I get your point. She doesn’t hate me.”_

_“No, she doesn’t,” Bruce smiled gently. “And you know that already, you stubborn genius.”_

_She couldn’t argue that because she DID know that. Loki had confessed as much to her well over four months ago, two months after her, Bruce, and Thor had arrived._

_Bruce lightly bumped Toni’s shoulder with his own. “Come on, Toni, no more moping about. You can come help me with my lab and then we’ll see about making dinner, okay?”_

_“It’s only one,” Toni signed, amused._

_“I know, but we always lose track of time,” Bruce teased._

_Consenting to the fact with a nod, Toni stood, stretched, and followed Bruce out of her workshop and to his lab._

*****

“What clouds your mind, sister?”

Loki glanced up Thor took a seat beside her on the sofa. “The words from my book?” she said pointed, raising an eyebrow.

“You haven’t moved your page in over three minutes. I was watching. I know you are concerned about Toni, but she will be alright. She has reassured me of such.”

“She does not know that,” Loki muttered. “She is scared; there is something regarding her curse that she has refused to share and I fear that her silence indicates a grim ending to her curse.”

“You do not know that,” Thor countered, reaching over to pat her shoulder reassuringly. “I’m sure she will be back to flirting with you in no time.”

Loki rolled her eyes. “Yes, that is exactly what I have been missing most, Thor, well done.”

“Of course it’s not!” Thor exclaimed, affronted. “You miss spending time with her. You just happen to flirt with her whenever you are spending time with her.”

“Any more _brilliant_ observations you care to share with me?”

“Only the knowledge that the key to your happiness is guarded in her heart.”

Loki blinked. “Was that...a poor attempt at a metaphor?”

“I have learned much about literature,” Thor said proudly. “Toni gave me some books she thought I might enjoy and I found myself fascinated by them.”

“You’re becoming like me.” Loki paused. “That is terrifying.”

Thor laughed loudly. “You aren’t that bad, sister.” He grabbed her wrist before she could punch him. “Except when you are trying to stab me.”

Loki managed a small smile. “But it’s amusing,” she complained. “You always fall for my tricks!”

“I didn’t during Ragnarok, did I?”

“You seemed to expect my betrayal,” Loki frowned. “It was unexpected.”

Thor stood, patting her shoulder. “You’re simply losing your touch, my sister. Or, perhaps, you are simply becoming predictable. Perhaps consider not betraying me? That would be quite the surprise, I assure you.”

Loki sighed. “What I have to do to surprise you nowadays.”

“It is such a sorrow,” Thor agreed, teasing her gently. He rubbed her shoulder lightly before he started for the door, calling over his shoulder, “Be well, sister!”

Smiling, Loki murmured the same before she picked up her book and went back to her reading.

*****

Barnes was the first person to notice something was wrong. Everyone had just sat down to dinner when he began staring at Stark with some mild concern. Loki hadn’t figured the man would say anything, after all, Barnes was rather quiet, so she was caught off guard when he announced grimly, “You should be in bed, Stark. You’re sick.”

Stark visibly sighed as she pulled out her phone, typed a message, and FRIDAY announced for her, _“I was cursed two days ago and currently am not able to speak.”_

The Rogues just stared at Stark blankly. “Cursed? What does that mean, cursed?” Rogers asked, sounding lost. “How is that possible?”

_“A little old witch paid me a visit in the park and took away my voice.”_

“Why?”

_“She wants to teach me a lesson.”_

“You probably deserved it,” the scarlet witch snorted under her breath.

Loki watched Stark roll her eyes at the comment, and she couldn’t help feel slighted. The Witch had wanted Stark to learn a lesson? Why hadn’t Stark come forward with that information earlier when she had asked?

“What kind of lesson?” Barnes continued.

_“She didn’t say. And thanks to her I have a fever, which is why I look and feel like shit.”_

“How long will this last?” Rogers asked, frowning.

Stark shrugged, looking unsettled for a moment before her features calmed.

“What if we’re called out? You gonna sit out?” Barton demanded. Loki had a feeling his words came out more harshly than he had meant them to.

Stark typed quickly, sharply. _“If we’re called out, I’ll be the first one on the battlefield. I'm not sitting out just because of a stupid curse. But FRIDAY will be the one doing all the talking; she’ll call it as she sees it.”_

“So, we’re supposed to listen to everything one of your robots says?” Barton sighed. “That’s fucking great.”

 _“Yeah, I’m thrilled too,”_ Stark responded sharply, FRIDAY’s voice sounding tense and unhappy at the archer’s insinuation.

_“Any further questions?”_

“You haven’t been hurt, have you?”

Stark looked surprised but shook her head at Rogers.

Announcing through FRIDAY that she wasn’t that hungry, Stark stood and cleared her plate. She met Loki’s eyes and smiled weakly at her and was just heading for the door when Barnes used sign language to tell her, _If you need anything, let me know._

That was clearly unexpected given the stunned surprise that flashed in Stark’s eyes, but she nodded with a small smile, and Loki knew she was secretly touched by the gesture. Once she was gone, the team began discussing how to protect Stark from further attacks and how they needed to adjust their strategy in a battle if she wouldn’t be able to talk.

It was funny how a team could put aside differences and work together when one of their own was injured but wouldn't do it when all team members were well.

*****

_“Boss, Loki is on her way as you requested,” FRIDAY announced._

_Toni absently signed her thanks as she pulled up schematics for Barnes’s arm- she was doing repairs, after all, since Shuri was in Wakanda- and began looking them over again. Shuri’s tech was way above hers and in order to do an upgrade and/or repair, she needed to make sure she knew the tech one hundred and ten percent._

_“You asked to see me, Stark?”_

_Turning, Toni smiled when she saw Loki standing in the doorway to her shop. She waved the mage inside and then pushed her rolling chair across the room over to her hand-weapons filing cabinet. Standing, she unlocked her cabinet, opened a drawer, and pulled out a small box, which she then tossed at Loki, who caught it with ease._

_“What’s this?” Loki asked as she peered at the box curiously._

_“A gift,” Toni signed, finding it easier than typing for FRIDAY to read._

_“For what?” Loki said, looking amused, pulling at the wrapping paper of the box._

_“For taking care of me and letting me take over half your bed these last few days,” Toni signed. “I really appreciate it.”_

_“Were you alright last night?”_

_Toni shrugged as she pushed her seat back over to the workbench and began looking at the schematics again. “Didn’t sleep.”_

_But she didn’t receive a response since Loki was looking down at the box she was unwrapping. “Stark, were you alright?” Loki repeated._

_Sighing, Toni pulled out her phone and typed her response. FRIDAY spoke for her saying, “Didn’t sleep last night.”_

_Loki looked up, halfway from opening the box. “What happened?”_

_Toni shrugged sheepishly as she dropped her phone on the table. Much more content with signing than typing, Toni signed, “I was hot, my mind was wandering, just couldn’t sleep.”_

_Loki frowned at her. “Strange and I should put some research into figuring out how to counter the-” She trailed off, staring at the dagger inside the box._

_Rocking on her heels, Toni walked over to Loki and tapped her shoulder. “You’ll have to give it a test or two,” she signed. “I don’t know as much about daggers as I’d like to so it's probably not that good.”_

_“It looks amazing,” Loki murmured as she took the dagger into her hand. “I...might be impressed,” she admitted._

_Toni felt her eyes widen. Loki was never impressed with anything from anyone, ever. And she hadn’t even tested the dagger yet but thought she would be impressed? That was… actually really high praise._

_Placing the knife in the box, Loki went over and embraced Toni. It was quick, quick enough to make Toni think she had imagined the entire event, but when she saw the faint blush to Loki’s cheeks, she had to wonder if the hug HAD actually just happened._

_“If you can’t sleep tonight, come find me. I’ll most likely be awake,” Loki called over her shoulder as she grabbed the box, clutched it tightly in her hand, and headed for the stairs._

_Toni watched her in surprise, not responding, just simply shocked that Loki had HUGGED her. Good God, she might just have something to thank the Witch for after all. To be fair, she was going to die so that would be a major downfall, but at least she was able to cuddle and hug Loki before she died._

_Yay for the little victories (before the major loss.)_

*****

“Ms. Loki, Boss is about to begin a movie-watching session in her workshop. Dr. Banner, your brother, and Sergeant Barnes are already present but Boss has told me to ask you if you would like to join them. What should I respond?”

Loki looked up from her book, considering the offer. She didn’t know very much about Barnes other than the few necessary facts about his past, but she and Thor were on better terms and she did have those unchanging, not going away feelings for St- nope, moving on- and she also seemed to be developing a friendship of sorts with the doctor…

She supposed she could manage a few hours with them all.

“I will be there momentarily,” Loki decided as she bookmarked her page, checked her appearance in her mirror (no, it was _not_ because she was about to go spend time with Stark) and then headed for the workshop.

When she entered, she found the others had indeed already gathered and had been waiting for her. “Loki!” Thor exclaimed, grinning at her. “Toni has informed us that we need to watch a ‘TV classic’ called _Star Trek._ It takes place in space!”

“Yes, I inferred,” Loki said dryly, taking a seat next to Toni on the sofa.

 _“Play it, Fri,”_ Stark signed, and apparently the AI was fluent in sign language because she began the episode without pause. However, they were only a few minutes into the episode when FRIDAY paused the episode and announced,

“Boss, Stephen Strange is requesting a video call. Shall we accept?”

Stark looked startled. _“What does he want?”_

“Why not find out by accepting his call?” FRIDAY countered, sounding amused.

Sighing, Stark nodded her consent. A hologram appeared in front of her and Loki watched, interested, as she watched the conversation between Strange and Stark, both of whom who were using sign language.

_“Toni, how are you?”_

_“You learned sign language?”_ Stark looked surprised.

The doctor shrugged sheepishly. _“Photographic memory. Figured it’d help you feel less left out if you weren't the only one going without talking for a while.”_

 _“A man after my own heart,”_ Stark flirted, winking. _“What can I do you for, Stephen?”_

Loki very determinedly ignored the way her heart stung at the flirtation and _wink._

_“I was hoping you could drop by the Sanctum tomorrow, allow me to look you over. I think I have an idea of a spell that could counter the fever and the problems sleeping.”_

Stark winced, making a face. _“It has been a huge annoyance, I'll admit.”_

_“Given your past, though, it makes sense as to why the problems are arising.”_

What problems?

Stark looked thoughtful, if not regretful as she signed in response, _“I’m afraid I can’t make tomorrow. Would Thursday work?”_

Now it was Strange’s turn to frown. _“I have a seminar in Japan from Thursday to Saturday evening. I’m sorry, Toni.”_

Stark shrugged, not appearing to be too bothered. _“Thanks for trying. Maybe when you’re back in town.”_

_“It’s a date, then.”_

Winking suggestively, Stark nodded. _“See you soon.”_

Damn. Their. Flirting. Damn both of them.

_“Goodnight, Toni.”_

Once the call ended, Dr. Banner asked quietly, “What problems were you and Stephen talking about? You’ve been having trouble sleeping?”

Stark looked embarrassed. Not meeting their eyes, she signed timidly, _“Some kittens have difficulties falling asleep, causing their owners to put an old-fashioned alarm clock beside their bed.”_

“Do you...need something similar?”

_“I haven’t been able to sleep well for longer than I can remember… and it looks like one of the kittens’ characteristics that I have is being unable to fall asleep without the sound of either a heartbeat or a ticking clock.”_

“Oh,” Dr. Banner murmured. “So, you’re just...avoiding sleep? Why not use a clock?”

Stark’s level of discomfort was clear when she shifted her position, bringing her knees to her chest. _“It didn’t work,”_ she signed miserably.

Thor cleared his throat, looking somewhat uncomfortable himself as he pressed, “Did sleeping with Loki work?”

Stark very pointedly did not answer his question. (Loki felt sorry for the small amount of satisfaction that curled in her chest because _she_ was able to help Stark fall asleep.)

“FRIDAY, would you play the episode?” Barnes requested shyly from his seat on the opposite sofa.

Looking up, Stark glanced over at the soldier and signed a timid _thank you_ to him. The man merely nodded at her, but there was something in his eyes that indicated to Loki that he had done it out of protectiveness for Stark.

“Um, before you play it, one more question,” Dr. Banner said quietly. “Toni, you don’t have anything going on tomorrow. Why did you tell Stephen that you were unable to make it tomorrow?”

Stark winced. _“Because I don’t want his help.”_

Dr. Banner frowned, looking surprised. “Why not?” He paused. “What aren’t you telling us? Is it something with the curse? I know Stephen can be arrogant sometimes but he seems to really care about you and it’s obvious he wants to help you in any way he can. Why don’t you want his help?”

 _Yes, he certainly does care about you,_ Loki thought bitterly. _He looks at you and holds your attention in a way that I have always been unable to manage. You have captured and held my attention for months, yet I appear unable to do so with you due to my poor history with you. Curse me, for if it weren’t for that, I do believe you and I would have given a try at a relationship. Now I don’t think you will ever pursue such a thing with me._

Stark sighed. _“There’s nothing he can do for me, Bruce. The spell will go away on its own, I know that much, and I can handle a little fever.”_

“Alright,” Dr. Banner said quietly, although he didn’t quite look convinced.

As the episode began playing again, Loki couldn’t help but notice how Stark looked troubled. She wasn’t giving the episode her attention, at least, not right away, but even once she began to watch the episode, it was apparent very quickly that her lack of sleep from the last night was catching up to her.

It was only twenty minutes into the next episode when Loki was startled to feel a sudden pressure against her shoulder. Turning her head, she saw with some mild surprise that Stark had fallen asleep and, in doing so, had slumped over so her head was resting on her shoulder.

“Do you want me to move her?” Barnes offered in a whisper.

Loki looked down at Stark. It was never really a question of what her answer would be, but she couldn’t appear to be that decisive over physical contact between her and another so she paused for a moment before she shrugged, saying, “I suppose she is fine where she is.”

Thor met her eyes and winked at her from his seat on the other sofa. Loki rolled her eyes as she carefully lifted her arm and brought it around Stark’s shoulders. The engineer shifted slightly, yawning, but never made any attempt to move away. In fact, she simply allowed herself to be brought closer to Loki, and in a matter of seconds, seemed to be back in a deep sleep.

Smiling softly to herself, Loki redirected her attention to the TV screen. As much as she loathed seeing Stark in pain or discomfort, she had to admit that there was good to come from the curse.

This was as close as she had ever been (as friends) to Stark.

Why else would Stark be giving her so much of her attention, if not because she needed Loki’s coolness to neutralize her fever? 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this chapter as there is a mention of previous suicidal thoughts at the beginning of the chapter. Please avoid reading this if it will trigger you; you can avoid the scene by scrolling to the first starred section of the chapter and begin reading from there if you so desire.

The fifth and sixth day of Stark’s curse passed quickly and without much note. Stark spent her time in the workshop, coming out for the occasional meal, or to sign a conversation with someone. When night fell she wasn’t coming to Loki’s bedroom, something that saddened Loki for all of half an hour before she became wise to the fact that it was a  _mortal_ she was falling for, and then she spent the next day berating herself for not only allowing herself to become close to another but also for allowing a  _mortal_ to be the person she became so close to.

Doing her best to stop moping about- and no, it  _wasn’t_ because she missed Stark’s steady presence in her life- Loki spent her days reading, practicing her magic, and remembering her past with some mixed emotions.

In the early morning hours on the seventh day of Stark’s curse, Loki was startled awake by the sound of FRIDAY calling her name. Opening her eyes and sitting up, Loki groaned, “What is it, FRIDAY?”

“Boss is standing on the edge of the roof and I can’t get her to step back,” FRIDAY said, sounding panicked. “She was fine earlier...I don’t know what happened or what’s going on… you were the first person I thought to call. Please, go to her.”

Loki was standing and rushing out the door before FRIDAY had even finished her first sentence. When she stepped out onto the porch, she took many steps in Stark’s direction before she said, trying to sound calm, “FRIDAY has informed me that you find the ledge very interesting tonight.”

Shrugging, Stark didn’t make any attempt to sign or type a response.

“May I approach?”

Stark turned slightly to sign,  _“This isn’t a courtroom, Loki, of course, you can.”_

Her breathing calming a little, Loki stepped forward and onto the ledge so she was stood right next to the engineer. “What brings you here at this time of night?”

_“Just thinking.”_

“While standing and making FRIDAY worry that you were going to jump?”

_“I wasn’t.”_

Loki tapped Stark’s shoulder so the woman would look at her.  _“You at least thought about it, didn’t you?”_

Stark looked away as she nodded silently.  _“But I do that all the time,”_ she signed quickly.  _“It’s more along the lines of ‘there are so many ways’ and not ‘this is what I want to do tonight.’"_

 _“Why?”_ Loki signed, finding that it seemed easier for them both to speak more freely if their words weren’t left lingering in the air.

 _“Curiosity. A reminder of when I used to stand here and try to make myself let go.”_ Stark shrugged.  _“Shows how I can overcome my obstacles, even the ones that make me want to let go.”_

“Can I convince you to come inside?” Loki asked, her voice just barely above a whisper.

_“Why, Loki, was that a proposition?”_

“Only if you want it to be,” Loki murmured, leaning forward to brush her lips against Stark’s cheek. When Stark turned to look at her, wide-eyed, Loki winked coyly. “Consider that your proposition,” she teased as she took Stark’s hand and gently guided her off the ledge and back into the Tower where it was safe.

She settled onto the sofa in the workshop and lifted her arm, allowing for Stark to cuddle up against her. Stark... _Toni_ did so with a familiar ease, resting her head on Loki’s shoulder as she closed her eyes and allowed Loki to hold her.

Loki cautiously brought her cheek to the top of Toni’s head and closed her eyes as well. Having Toni where she was reminded her of why she had begun falling for Toni in the first place. Yes, Toni was a mortal- which was a very strong reason why she shouldn’t be spending so much time with her- but she was a mortal that was unlike all of the others. Toni was... _special_  and Loki had long ago realized that the feelings that blossomed in her heart for Toni could not be easily stopped.

“If you continue to avoid me, I will simply follow you wherever you go,” Loki finally murmured after they sat together in silence for several minutes. “I do not appreciate that you were avoiding me.”

_“Sorry.”_

“Are you going to explain why? Or, rather, what I did?”

For several long minutes Toni didn’t sign anything and then she signed timidly,  _“I’ve been avoiding you because of the curse.”_

“Why?” Loki paused. “There’s something else that you haven’t told us, isn’t there?”

Toni shifted uncomfortably.  _“Yes,”_ she finally admitted.

Loki considered how to respond before she said slowly, “Why haven’t you shared with us whatever it is about the curse that we don’t know?”

_“Because there’s no way anyone can change the outcome, with or without this information.”_

“How do you know that for certain?”

_“I’m positive, Loki.”_

Sighing, Loki didn't say anything for several minutes before she commented, “You once again feel feverish.”

Toni shrugged, apparently used to the higher temperature by now. She shifted her position so she was pressed more against Loki and then closed her eyes, apparently comfortable where she was.

“If I didn't have such pity for you, you would be frozen right now,” Loki murmured. “I do not allow anyone to simply cuddle me.”

 _“I'm special,”_ Toni signed without opening her eyes.

Loki laughed. “In your mind, perhaps. I have only considered one woman special before and that was Frigga.”

_“Tell me about her.”_

Loki raised an eyebrow at that. They had spoken plenty of their fathers but the subject of their mothers had always seemed to be a conversation that Toni didn't want to bring up. Until now.

“My mom was the most gentle soul I knew,” Loki said softly. “But she was also the most fierce, most powerful woman that many realms had ever known.”

_“You were close to her.”_

“Considerably so, especially compared to the other members of my family.”

_“Favorite memory of her?”_

Loki smiled softly. “There are many. She always wanted me to be happy, and so she was always trying to convince me there was someone out there who would love me for who I am, who would make me happy and whom I would make happy in return.”

_“You sound skeptical.”_

“For good reason. Who would want an adopted, runt, monster of a creature as a partner?” Loki laughed bitterly. “I know better than to get my hopes up.”

_“I'd want you.”_

Loki, wide-eyed, stared down at the engineer she was holding in her arms. There was a moment where Toni froze, especially so when they made eye contact, and Loki couldn't help but notice the pain flickering in Toni's eyes. She was about to inquire when alarms began blaring and FRIDAY announced, “Boss, the Council is calling everyone out. Apparently, Chicago is being attacked.”

Bolting out of Loki’s arms, Toni signed quickly as she scanned out of her shop and ran upstairs: _“At three fucking am?”_

“They must be night owls.”

Loki silenced a snort as she followed Toni to the Common Room. She  _loved_ how sassy the AI was.

“Toni, Loki,” Rogers greeted as they arrived together.

“Which foolish mortals decided to disturb our rest tonight?” Thor demanded as he entered the room.

“We have ten active boogies engaged in Chicago with more to come,” came a familiar but unwanted voice and Loki looked beyond Rogers to see holograms of the Council.

“Define boogies,” Romanov said sharply.

“Men in armor ‘suits’ pretending they know what they're doing which is just causing more destruction.”

Toni sighed from next to her.

“Alright, to the launching deck. Toni, Loki, Sam, we'll see you there,” Rogers said.

As Toni walked over to the balcony, Loki followed her. Before Toni could climb into her armor, Loki reached over and passed her hand across Toni’s forehead. “You're running a low fever. In a tense situation such as a battle, your temperature is likely to increase. Proceed with caution, please.”

Toni caught Loki’s hand in her own, tapping out with quick precision,  _“I'll be fine. You be safe too."_

“It takes more than a few mortals to hurt me,” Loki snorted. “I will be more than fine.”

Rolling her eyes fondly, Toni clapped twice before completing a running leap off the balcony. This time it was Loki’s turn to roll her eyes, for the display was unnecessary (but appreciated when she watched Toni’s armor appear from the side of the Compound and tightly encase her body.)

Smiling to herself, Loki teleported to Chicago.

*****

_“Toni, we could use backup on Madison,” Rogers said, sounding tense._

_“Headed that way,” FRIDAY responded for her._

_Toni turned in the sky and was flying in that direction when something bolted into the armor completely out of nowhere. The contact caused the armor to whirl, floating limply for a moment before there was a second jolt and Toni felt the left side of her armor lose all power._

_FRIDAY said something to her but it went in one ear and out the other as Toni struggled to rebalance herself. She had just found equilibrium again when the front of the armor was bulldozed by one of the boogies, sending her spinning backward out of control._

_“FRIDAY!” Toni tried to yell, but she had no voice. She was hit again and Toni blindly fired her one working repulsor in the direction that she was falling away from._

_There was a sharp sound of her repulsor making contact with metal and Toni felt a momentary rush of pride before she slammed into and through the wall of a building._

_For a dark moment, there was nothing but pain. When Toni blinked her eyes open, blood was dripping from a gash on her forehead. Groaning silently, Toni rolled over and rose to her hands and knees, pausing when the world spun._

_“Toni? Toni!”_

_At the call of her name, Toni raised her head and looked blearily at the mage who floated through her Iron Woman-dent in the wall and then dropped to the ground, running to her side._

_Loki knelt on the ground, her eyes dark and filled with what looked to be fear as she brought her hands to Toni’s faceplate and demanded, “Raise your face armor. Let me see.”_

_Toni pressed a button hidden on the inside of her right hand’s index finger armor and the faceplate opened._

_Soft green light colored the room as Loki brought her left hand to Toni’s jaw and turned her head so she could observe the gash. “I have her, Rogers,” Loki announced, clearly into the Comms. “She is injured but not critically so, it appears.”_

_Toni nodded, wincing at the movement. “I'm fine,” she signed._

_Loki dropped her hand from the Comms and with their conversation now private, she said quietly, “When you didn't arrive and FRIDAY wasn't answering, we knew you had been injured. I couldn't find you…”_

_“How long did you look?” Toni signed, frowning. “Wasn't I only offline for a minute, two at the most?”_

_Loki stared at her. “Toni, I spent over five minutes looking for you. FRIDAY did not respond once to our queries.” She sighed angrily, scowling. “Do not worry me like that again.”_

_“Aww, Lokes, you care,” Toni teased, reaching playfully for Loki. But Loki caught her hand in her own, growling,_

_“Yes, you foolish mortal. I told myself I would not care for anyone besides Thor and myself and you, a_ _ **mortal** ,_  _somehow grew on me. I do care about you and it is infuriating as much as it is aweing and-”_

_Smiling softly, Toni squeezed Loki's hand and ended her rant. “It's all the flirtation and late night talking. I've made you fall for me.”_

_It took her moment and Loki's lack of response for her to realize what she said._

_Fucking concussion, I have absolutely no filter, Toni realized with a growing panic. Deciding to pretend she said nothing- damn her and the witch and the buffoons who gave her a concussion- Toni stood shakily and allowed her faceplate to shut._

_“Let's finish this shit,” she signed grimly to Loki, who was still kneeling on the floor, yet was watching her closely._

_Loki stared up at her. “You cannot possibly plan to continue fighting?” she exclaimed. “You're injured!”_

_Toni offered her hand to Loki and helped her up. “I have a city and team to protect. I’m not calling it quits now,” she signed._

_“But you will seek medical treatment when this battle is over.”_

_Toni squeezed Loki’s hand without signing, knowing that the mage would be able to recognize the unspoken consent. And stepping through the hole Toni had made when she had crashed into the building, Loki and Toni rejoined the good fight._

*****

“Thanks for the assist,” Loki murmured as she watched the doctor poke and prod at Toni as he did his examination.

Strange looked at her, looking shocked. “Did you...thank me? That’s unexpected.”

“Don’t let it get to your head.”

“Didn’t need my help, did you?”

“No, we didn’t. But your assist allowed Toni to get examined sooner rather than later which is what I thanked you for.”

“You’re not even trying to hide it,” Strange said, surprised.

Loki raised an eyebrow. “Why would I?” she rebutted, understanding with ease what Strange was referring to.

“Wasn’t expecting you to be so accepting of these new-found emotions.”

“Suppressed but not newly discovered,” Loki corrected cooly. “Regardless, if I want any  _chance_ of being with her, I need to mentally prepare myself for everyone knowing.”

“Oh?”

“If we were in a relationship, I would  _not_ be sharing her with the world, meaning they would need to know that she’s my girlfriend,” Loki said sternly. “And I certainly wouldn’t keep our relationship a secret as if I were ashamed of her.”

“You seem...confident that you will be with her.”

“Why shouldn’t I be?”

Strange stared at her.

Loki shrugged. “Anyone would gladly be with me Strange, you and I both know that.”  _No, we both know that no one would want to be with me willingly, but a girl can dream._

Hearing the sound of someone clearing their throat, Loki looked up to find the doctor was standing in front of them. “Miss Stark has suffered a mild concussion and a bruised rib but other than a few cuts and bruises, she is fine. She is currently resting but she’ll be able to go to her bedroom shortly so long as she is not left alone.”

Loki exchanged glances with Strange. “Is she awake?”

“She was awake a few minutes ago and will be for a little while longer but I would prefer she doesn’t have visitors just yet. Oh, she asked that a Stephen Strange watch over her tonight?”

“That is me,” Strange said, stepping forward.

“Wonderful, come with me and I’ll tell you how to assist her for the night.”

“I’m a doctor so I am well versed in the procedure…” Loki watched, numb, as Strange followed the doctor into the medical bay. When the doors closed behind them, Loki whirled around and headed down the hall, feverishly trying to convince herself that she didn’t care that Toni had picked Strange as her companion instead of her.

It didn’t work.

Strange had only recently come into the picture. She and Toni had been conversing in their late night chats and magical debates  _long_  before he was introduced to them and despite their flirtation and the comments that Loki had (foolishly) believed to be truthful,  _he_ was the one that held Toni’s affections instead of her.

That realization hurt much more than Loki was willing to admit. Reaching her bedroom, she curled up on her bed and pretended the entire night had not happened.

*****

_When she became aware of something other than pain for the first time, her eyes fell on Stephen, who was sat in a chair pulled up the edge of her bed. Unable to get her attention in any other way, Toni lifted her arm and let it flop limply onto the mattress._

_Looking up from his book, Stephen met Toni’s eyes and smiled, relieved. “Feeling better, sleeping beauty?” he teased._

_“Feel like a concrete mixer hit me,” Toni signed ruefully. “Everyone O.K.?”_

_“You were the only one seriously injured.”_

_Good._

_Toni closed her eyes and fell back asleep._

_The next time she opened her eyes, she was alone. With nothing else to do, Toni thought back to her curse. Stephen said she appeared to have been cursed with the characteristics of a kitten. But why a frickin’ kitten? Sure, she had grown up with a cat in the house until she was five and Goldy (she was a stupid kid, don’t judge) had died, but she didn’t have anything in common with a cat… did she?_

_On the other hand...kittens did have a tendency to have trouble sleeping, especially so when they weren’t shown much love by their parents; the steady beating of either a heart or a clock was almost essential for neglected kittens to fall asleep. And Toni had grown up with a neglective father…_

_Okay, so maybe she had one, *one* thing in common with kittens._

_But that was it._

_...Besides the fact that kittens who had been abandoned also tended to be startled at loud noises easily, which perfectly summed Toni up after Afghanistan and all the shelling and gunfire._

_So, she could make some lame connections to a cat, big deal. But that didn’t mean she had to die with the characteristics of one! She was beginning to *maybe*_   _gather from Loki’s actions, words, and gazes that the mage *might* have feelings for her, but Toni knew better than to get her hopes up. She also knew better than to dare dream that the woman she had fallen in love with had any sort of feelings for her at all (besides cold tolerance at best.)_

_“Toni? Are you awake?”_

_Opening her eyes, Toni found that at some point, Stephen had entered the room. Waving her hand lazily at him, she closed her eyes and went back to her thinking. Rather, she would have, because Stephen was suddenly right there next to her, his hand on her arm as he asked quietly, “How do you feel?”_

_“Concussed, tired,” Toni signed, opening her eyes again._

_“Do you remember what happened?”_

_“There was a battle and I got ambushed. Got acquainted with the wall.”_

_“Anything else?”_

_“Loki found me.” Toni paused in her signing as she struggled to sit up a little. With Stephen’s help, she was able to do so, and she leaned against him heavily. “She was worried.”_

_Stephen hesitated. “Did that surprise you?”_

_“Yes and no. We spend a lot of time together and we talk about a lot of things so I know she cares. After the fight with Cap, I guess I’m just surprised whenever someone seems to actually care about me and whether or not I live.” Toni shrugged._

_“I care about you.”_

_Toni smiled at him. “I know.”_

_She met his eyes and suddenly she was only too aware of the way Stephen seemed to look at her, the way he would look tense whenever he was around and she was flirting with Loki, or the way he and Loki both would spar together, both giving it all they had as if they were sparring to prove themselves worthy of something._

_“Toni…”_

_She couldn’t look at him as she signed emptily, “Do you think Loki likes me?”_

_“Um, yes, I suppose she does. She is your friend, isn’t she?”_

_“No, not like that. Do you think she wants to be with me as something more than friends?”_

_Stephen sounded odd. “Why do you ask that?”_

_Now Toni really couldn’t look at him. “Because I like her in that way and I want to know what you think, if you think I have a shot with her- I know you don’t spend a lot of time with her, and I would ask Thor except he could never keep a secret…”_

_“I think that anyone would be happy to be with you, Toni, and if she doesn’t want you as something more than she has no idea what she is missing out on.”_

_Toni closed her eyes, trying not to cry. “Thanks, Stephen.”_

_“Of course.” His hand fell away from her arm and it was quiet for a moment before Stephen leaned over and pressed his lips to her temple. “Sleep now, Toni. I’ll be back to check on you shortly.”_

_It was a lie and they both knew it._

_Toni opened her eyes and took Stephen’s hand before he could walk away. He looked at her, his face impassive but his eyes unable to hide his pain. “I’m so sorry,” she mouthed to him._

_He squeezed her hand. “Me too,” he whispered. He slid his hand out of hers and walked out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him with a soft, final click._

_Toni brought her knees to her chest and sobbed._

*****

When Loki started awake, it was to the sound of FRIDAY calling her name for the second time in as many days.

“What do you want?” Loki asked miserably.

“Boss is in despair and I can’t get her to calm.”

“Call Strange. I’m sure he’s the one that she wants, not me.”

“He is the reason Boss is upset.”

Loki lifted her head from her pillow. “What did he do?” she demanded, anger and protection curling in her chest as she sat up and climbed out of her bed.

“I...can’t reveal that. I didn’t want to disturb you again so I called Dr. Banner but he was too exhausted from his Hulk-Out to hear my calls, so I didn’t bother him. I can call someone else if you prefer…”

“No, I am going,” Loki said sharply, not bothering to change out of her sleeping garments as she left her bedroom, ran down the hall, up the stairs, and to Toni’s bedroom. She found the door open and Barnes standing beside the bed, looking uncertain as he tried to comfort a shaking, clearly crying, Toni.

“I was doing my rounds an’ I heard cryin’. Came to investigate and found her,” Barnes said helplessly.

Loki knelt on the bed, gently touching Toni’s arm and frowned at the warmth that was radiating from her. “Toni, it’s alright, calm down,” she murmured as she sat down next to the woman and carefully wrapped her arm around Toni’s shoulders. “You’re okay.”

Toni shook her head at that statement, not looking at them as she began to sign wildly,  _“I’m not okay, I most likely just ended my friendship with Stephen and I didn’t have many people in my life who cared about me to begin with but now I’ve lost him and I hurt him so, so badly and I didn’t want to but-”_

“Calm down,” Loki pleaded, noticing with growing concern how quickly Toni was breathing and how pained she sounded every time she took another heaving breath. “If he truly cares about you as much as I think he does, a little argument will not be the end of your friendship.”

Toni sobbed silently.  _“I told him that I didn’t want to be in a relationship with him because I like someone else. And he looked so hurt, like I was stabbing him in the heart and then he, he left and he won’t come back, I know he won’t, people never come back to me after they leave and-”_

Loki reached over and took Toni’s hands in her own, stopping the frantic inventor from saying anything further. She’d deal with the fact that Toni liked someone else later when she was alone and could berate herself in private for falling for a mortal. But that wasn’t her concern at the moment. What was, was calming Toni down and getting her breathing back to normal.

Barnes shifted uneasily from the foot of the bed. “If he truly cares about you, he’ll want you to be happy. He’s hurtin’ right now with every right to, but if this were to be what causes him to walk away and not return, then he doesn’t care about you, Toni, not really. And you deserve better.”

Toni looked up at him, looking surprised at his statement, but thinking it over nonetheless.

“I’ll, um, leave you now. I hope you feel better soon,” Barnes stuttered before leaving the room quickly.

“Do you want me to leave as well?” Loki asked quietly.

Toni shook her head, clutching at Loki’s hand to keep her from leaving.

Loki didn’t say anything further, just pulled Toni closer to her and held her as the final tears slid down her cheeks. When Toni was calm again, Loki could only tell because the woman had stopped trembling and had fallen asleep instead.

With no reason to leave, Loki stayed.

*****

_“Toni, should you be out of bed?”_

_Grabbing her mug and filling it with coffee, Toni took the time to go to her seat and sit down before she pulled out her phone and typed, “Probably not but I don’t feel like resting so I’m not going to.”_

_Rogers sighed. “Bruce said you have a mild concussion.”_

_“Which is true.” Toni took a sip of her coffee, sighing contentedly. “What about it?”_

_“I’m just worried about you, Toni. You don’t look so good.”_

_Eyeing him in annoyance, Toni picked up her phone and began typing as FRIDAY translated, “I have a fever and a concussion, I’m not dying. And second of all, you lost the right to care about me when you nearly killed me. So spare me the pity.”_

_Rogers closed his eyes briefly but said nothing further._

_“Speaking of Bruce, though, have you seen him? I need to talk to him.”_

_“He ate already and went to his lab.”_

_Nodding thoughtfully, Toni drained her cup in one go and then stood, leaving Rogers behind in the kitchen as she went to go find Bruce. She saw Bruce was hard at work already and very nearly lost her nerve, but she had to talk to him, she knew that, and so she knocked on the door._

_Bruce looked up from his calorimeter and smiled upon seeing her. “Hey, Toni! How’re you feeling?” He paused, his eyes widening. “What are you doing out of bed? You should be resting!”_

_“I don’t want to lay around all day,” Toni signed. “Makes me think too much.”_

_“I can understand that,” Bruce signed slowly. “Can you understand me?”_

_Toni laughed. “Yes, Bruce, you make sense.”_

_The doctor smiled. “Good. What can I do for you?”_

_Toni gestured to two stools at the desk and following his suggestion, Bruce sat down. Taking a deep breath, Toni signed, “I need you to promise me that you won’t say_ **_anything_ ** _about what I’m about to tell you. Patient-doctor confidentiality, okay? Or just best friend code, whichever one you want.”_

_Bruce’s eyes widened a bit. “I think I understood all of that,” he muttered more to himself than to Toni. “Okay,” he signed. “What is it?”_

_And here came the hard part._

_Toni closed her eyes briefly and then opened them and signed with trembling hands, “In four hours, the ninth day of my curse will begin. I’ll die in twenty-eight hours.”_

_Bruce didn’t even try signing this time. “What?” he demanded shakily. “I think I read that wrong, did you just say you’re going to_   _DIE_ _in twenty-eight hours?”_

_Toni nodded, not meeting his eyes._

_“I, what, how? Toni, does this have to do with the curse? Why didn’t you say anything?” Bruce demanded, his voice rising hysterically. “What do you mean_   _DIE_ _?”_

_“When she cursed me, the witch said there was only one way to break the curse, and that was to make the person that I love to confess to loving me back. I was given ten days to do so-”_

_“You have tomorrow!” Bruce interrupted. “You have one more day, Toni, you’re not going to die-”_

_“I am,” Toni signed, much more calmly than she felt. “I am, Bruce. Loki doesn’t love me back, hell, she doesn’t even like me as more than a somewhat tolerable friend. I’ve already resigned myself to this but when I’m gone, I need someone to destroy my suits, make sure they don’t fall into the wrong hands. FRIDAY can do this, can wipe the servers, but I need you to make sure that nothing,_   ** _nothing_** _escapes my workshop. Do you-”_

_“Wait, did you say Loki?”_

_Toni blushed a little, nodding._

_“Toni, where have you been? Every time Loki is with you, there’s a competition to see who can stare at each other with more love shining in her eyes. Thor, Rhodey, and I decided two months ago that you guys were going to end up together.”_

_“Bruce, we just flirt a little. It doesn’t mean anything.”_

_“Are you sure about that?” Bruce asked quietly._

_Toni didn’t move for several moments and then she signed, “Yes.” But she wasn’t so sure she was, not anymore._

_Bruce sighed. “Don’t give up just yet, Toni. Have you tried talking to her about the curse? I mean, if she’s the only one who can break it, don’t you think you should at least tell her how you feel?”_

_“What for? So she can reject me?”_

_“So she can save you,” Bruce said gently._

_Toni stood up and paced the length of the lab for a minute before she went back to her stool and sat down on it. “She doesn’t return my feelings, Bruce. I know better than to get my hopes up.”_

_Bruce closed his eyes, sighing. “Toni, please don’t ruin your only chance at surviving simply because you think she doesn’t return your feelings. You’re biased because you are insecure; I see how she looks at you, how she acts with you. I think you’re wrong...and I don’t want to lose you because you didn’t give yourself a chance to be happy.”_

_She sounds like the witch, Toni thought bitterly to herself. But she still found herself considering Bruce’s words even after she had outlined her wishes and Bruce had promised to fulfill them should (when) she died._

_I don’t want to lose you because you didn’t give yourself a chance to be happy._

_Should she...tell Loki?_

*****

Opening her eyes and  _not_ being in her bedroom nearly caused Loki to panic for a sharp moment before she got a look around the room she was in and identified it as Toni’s.

Relieved, she sunk into the bedsheets and closed her eyes. Until she realized why she was in Toni’s bedroom to begin with. Opening her eyes again, she looked over at her side for the mortal that was no longer there.

Frowning, she climbed out of bed, magicked her appearance to something more suitable, and then went to find Toni. When she went into the kitchen, it was deserted so she continued to the workshop once she had eaten something quickly.

But she had just reached the door when she saw through the glass window Barnes and Toni in the middle of what looked to be a serious conversation, both of them looking somewhere between healing and crying as they signed back and forth.

Turning, Loki left them to converse in peace.

*****

_“I'm going to get right to the point. I'm going to die in like twenty-four hours from my curse and I need you to know something before I go.”_

_Barnes stared at her, eyes widening. “Die?”_

_“Yes, die, desist to live, pass away, all of that. You tell anyone and I'll take back everything I'm about to say. Actually, I won't because what I have to say is important but you get the idea. I told you that in confidence and I'm trusting you not to say anything.”_

_“You're just going to let one of us find your dead body?” Barnes signed harshly._

_“No! No. I think the witch plans to come back and claim me, actually. Anyway, that's beside the point. Will you promise not to tell anyone about how the curse ends?”_

_Barnes stared at her for a moment and must have sensed how important it was to her that he stay quiet because he sighed and nodded silently._

_“Thank you,” Toni signed earnestly. “Um, anyway, I called you here because I don't have a lot of time and there's something I need to get off my chest before I...you know.”_

_Barnes looked at her, appearing somewhere between curious and apprehensive._

_Toni took a deep breath, leaned over to grab her handwritten note and slide it across the table so it was in front of Barnes. He looked at it and then at her._

_“Read it,” Toni encouraged. “And then react however you need to.”_

_Frowning, Barnes wordlessly took the piece of paper and began to read:_

_‘Barnes,_

_So now that you know that the world is about to become a better place, I guess it's time to finally tell you what I've wanted to say for months. (Almost a year now.) And that is, I'm sorry. When I saw the video of you killing my parents, I snapped. I knew you were under HYDRA’s control, I KNEW you were a victim, but I attacked you anyway. And although that was partly because Cap had kept me in the dark about my own parents’ death and partly because my PTSD was triggered, that was not and IS NOT AN EXCUSE for attacking you. You were and are a victim and I should not have attacked you. There was no excuse for what I did. And I'm sorry that I hurt you in all the ways that I did. I can't begin to imagine how triggering it was for you to lose your arm and an apology will never be enough to make it up to you. Nor would an apology or five hundred ever be enough for all the pain and grief and guilt I put you through. The truth is, I know you didn't kill my parents. HYDRA did. And I don't blame you for what happened. I, Toni Stark, forgave you sixteen months, two weeks, and four days ago for everything that transpired in that video. You are not a murderer. You are not a monster. I KNOW that as a fact._

_Again, I'm so sorry for everything I did to you. I do not expect forgiveness, nor do I deserve it. You are not obligated to forgive me and if you say you do I will call bullshit to your face. It's okay to not be okay and to be mad at me. You were and are the victim and I was your abuser. You have nothing to apologize for and there is nothing to forgive you for._

_You were, are, and always will be a good person. I don't doubt that for a second. And I'm sorry for everything I did to you, I was wrong._

_Sincere in my words,_

_Toni Stark.’_

_There was a long moment when Barnes didn't say anything. He was clearly done reading, but he still trailed his fingers over the paper, as if stunned by the statements written down. The silence that followed was deafening and so Toni decided to leave him in peace to process._

_Standing, she patted his shoulder once and was halfway to the door of the shop when a soft, “Wait,” caused her to stop._

_Turning, Toni looked back at Barnes, who was standing, looking at her with the apology clutched to his chest. Barnes cleared his throat. “Do you really mean that?”_

_Toni nodded._

_“Can we...talk? Is that okay?” that was signed and for a moment Toni was sure she had read Barnes’ message incorrectly but when he repeated the same motions, therefore, saying the same thing, she realized that he genuinely did want to talk to her._

_Going back over to her stool, Toni sat down._

_“Would you...tell me about your mom?” Barnes signed, clearly shy to ask but curious about the answer._

_Toni recalled a similar conversation with Loki when they had discussed the coldness of their fathers and the quiet, beautiful strength of their mothers. Smiling softly, Toni nodded and began._

*****

_“Toni, what a nice surprise! Won't you stay for dinner?” May greeted with a smile when she opened the door. “Peter's doing his homework but I'm sure he'd love to take a break...Peter! Toni’s here!”_

_“Really? Yes!” came the cheerful call from the bedroom._

_May smiled at Toni, gesturing for her to take a seat. Toni did so with her own sad smile. May noticed, frowning worriedly at her, but Toni simply shrugged and motioned she'd explain in a minute._

_“Toni!” Peter exclaimed gleefully. Toni turned just as strong arms encircled her waist and Toni laughed, wrapping her own arms around the boy. Something about the contact reminded Toni why she was here and her eyes stung with tears. “What's wrong, Toni?” Peter asked worriedly when he pulled away and saw that Toni was halfway to bursting into tears._

_For a moment, Toni considered not telling her. Peter had lost so much in his young life already and he was going to lose her too… Toni may not think she was worthy of his care but she was aware enough to recognize that she truly did have his care and love as if she were a second Aunt May._

_But not telling would only make the agony worse when things were left unsaid and Peter was left to wonder how deep Toni’s care for him actually ran._

_Sighing deeply, Toni signed quickly, “Do you understand sign language?”_

_Peter looked at her, frowning. “I don't know very much sign language, Toni, if at all, really. Why are you- oh my goodness, did something happen? Are you okay?”_

_Toni minutely shook her head as she pulled out her phone and typed rapidly. “I was cursed by a witch nine days ago. Tomorrow my curse will end...and so will my life. I'm so sorry.”_

_Peter stepped back as if he had been struck. With eyes wide, he said hoarsely, “Toni, that's not a very kind joke.”_

_Toni glanced at May and lowered her eyes. “It is not a joke, Young Crime-Fighting Spider,” FRIDAY said from her phone without Toni typing anything. “Boss has been cursed and the curse will end tomorrow at the cost of her life. I'm sorry, Young Peter.”_

_“You're dying?” Peter whispered, sounding heartbroken._

_Toni nodded ever so slightly, unable to look up and meet Peter’s eyes. A sob escaped Peter and Toni looked up just in time to grab Peter’s arm and keep him from running off. At her touch, Peter looked at her brokenly for a moment before he threw himself into her arms and sobbed. Toni held him tightly and allowed herself to cry as well._

_When they both (and May) had stopped crying, Toni tapped Peter’s shoulder to get his attention and then mouthed, “You've been a great son, Pete.”_

_Peter looked at her for a long moment before he hugged her again. Toni pulled May into the hug and wished desperately for an ending that didn’t include her letting go and walking away._

_But that’s not how her life was going to go, she knew that. Her fate was already written in stone, bound in a magical curse that had no reverse to it._

_Not unless she was going to tell Loki and have her heart be broken by the rejection. Or, have her life be saved because Loki confessed to “loving her too“ out of pity or simply so she wouldn’t die._

_No, telling Loki would be unfair to her. It would be pressuring her to lie to save Toni’s life. And that wasn’t right at all._

_Well, she’d had a good life. She had a family that loved her, a few good friends…_

_Maybe she’d be missed, maybe she wouldn’t. (Chances are she wouldn’t. People would mourn and forget, which was good.)_

_Leaving the apartment was the hardest thing Toni had ever done. And when she got home, she went straight to her workshop to hide and cry some more. Because she didn’t want to die._

_It was probably the first time in her life that she had ever felt that way, but she did not want to die._

_And she was going to._

*****

It was late evening (almost the morn of the new day) when Loki finally made her way down to the workshop. Knocking on the door to announce her intentions, she then scanned in and entered the workshop to find Toni sitting at her desk, hard bent over some document as she wrote quickly.

“Evening,” Loki murmured as she brushed her hand down Toni’s arm as she approached her side. “Hard at work, I see. I’ll leave you be; just sit on the sofa there and read for a bit.”

Toni looked up at her and smiled faintly, signing absently with her left hand,  _“Hey, Lokes. Have a good day?”_

“Well enough. Don’t let me distract you from your-” Loki frowned, stepping closer when she noticed an abnormality in Toni’s expression. Leaning over a little, she cupped Toni’s jaw in her hand and tilted Toni’s head back, making the engineer look at her. “You’ve been crying,” she accused with mild surprise. “Are you alright? What happened?”

Toni looked away.  _“It’s nothing.”_

Loki brought her hand to Toni’s cheek, her thumb stroking Toni’s cheekbone comfortingly as she murmured, “It’s not 'nothing' if it upset you.” She frowned. "Is it your head wound?"

 _“I’m scared,”_ Toni signed finally after a long minute of silence.

“About the curse?” Loki pressed gently.

Toni nodded but did not sign a clarification. Loki sighed, sitting on the edge of the desk- avoiding Toni’s papers- as she asked softly, “Toni, what do you know about the curse that you haven’t shared with us yet?”

The woman looked up at her, clearly startled at the question. Very slowly she raised her hand to sign. Loki noticed she was trembling and was about to say something when Toni began to shake quite more forcefully.  _“I can’t, Loki, I can’t, it wouldn’t be right, I can’t do that-”_

Loki grabbed Toni’s hands in her own to keep the panicking woman from saying anything further. “It’s fine,” she murmured. “You do not have to share if you don’t want to. But I  _will_ listen if you want me to, okay? I am  _here._ ”

Wide brown eyes slowly lost some of their panic as Toni made eye contact with her. Apparently reassured, Toni nodded and slumped in her seat, hiding her face in her hands, clearly embarrassed at her outburst.

Not allowing that, Loki bent down and pulled Toni’s hands away from her face. “Denying the woman who offered to support you the ability to see your beautiful face is not very kind of you.”

Laughing silently, Toni looked up at her, smirking as she teased,  _“Like what you see?”_

“Very much,” Loki replied automatically. In the silence that followed, Loki found herself unable to look away from Toni’s frankly shocked expression-- but more than that, she found herself unable to look away from Toni’s eyes that shone warmly and her lips which were perfect for kissing and…

Loki leaned down as Toni leaned up and closed her eyes.

Frantic knocking came on the door to the workshop and a moment later, the door was thrown open. Loki flinched away from Toni, her heart pounding. “James and Wanda are fighting in the kitchen and the Other Guy wants to come out,” Dr. Banner panted, stumbling forward as a tense groan escaped him. "You have to help James." 

Toni was out of her seat in a flash, running to the doctor’s side and holding him tightly as Loki ran upstairs to stop the fight. “Stop!” Loki shouted, stunning Wanda with a weak blast (for her, but strong to the immature woman) that left her stumbling away from Barnes, whose dark eyes were murderous and stinted in both pain and fear.

A moment later, Rogers ran into the room with the others on his heels. “What happened? Buck?” Rogers demanded, going to Barnes’s side.

“You can’t trust her,” Barnes said quietly, panting, pointing to Wanda. "She was talkin' smack about Stark; you can't trust her to have his back or yours."

A growl overspoke any words Wanda or the others were going to say and Loki hesitated for a moment before she realized what the sound was; rather, who was growling and from where.

“Hulk,” Romanov muttered, realizing at the same time as Loki that the doctor had lost control of the beast.

 _“Toni,”_ Loki gasped, whirling around and leaving her brother to control the situation as she raced back to the workshop. A crash made her run faster and she quickly scanned into the workshop, ducking behind the desk when she saw Toni backed into a corner while the Hulk raged around the workshop.

Unsure of what to do in fear of making the situation worse, Loki was about to step forward- if only to keep the Hulk’s attention away from Toni- when the woman herself pushed off the corner she had been hiding in and stepped into the Hulk’s line of sight.

“Tiny Lab Friend,” Hulk growled.

 _Toni, no. You don’t have your armor on!_ Loki fretted from her position. A single blow would render Toni unconscious, if not dead.

Toni raised her hand, nodding. As she approached with small, announced steps, she used her other hand to sign words of comfort at the Hulk. Hulk himself, although appearing confused as to what the signs meant, did not make any attempt to charge at her.

_“It’s okay, Big Guy, you’re safe, I promise.”_

The Hulk eyed Toni carefully, assessing. “Tiny Lab Friend Unwell.”

Toni nodded, consenting to the fact as she stepped forward again so she was stood right in front of the Hulk. She extended her hand and the Hulk eyed it, deciding.

Loki suddenly flashed back to the moment when Thor had done the same, only to be grabbed and tossed around like a ragdoll.

_“You are not a monster. You are NOT and right now, in here, you are safe. And you are loved. Trust me to protect you?”_

A lump formed in Loki’s throat and she suddenly was unable to look away as the Hulk tilted his head and slowly extended his hand until his fingers met Toni’s. She smiled at him gently, taking hold of his hand as she walked forward and encircled her arm around him as best as she could.

The Hulk stared at her in wonder and then began to tremble, losing some of the green edges as the Hulk was, quite literally, loved back to Dr. Banner. Once Dr. Banner was back to himself, Loki left the two of them alone.

She had a feeling they would appreciate the time alone.

*****

_After Bruce had retired to his bedroom after their conversation about Toni calming him back to himself, and after several hours had passed, Toni finally put her pen down and looked at the ten letters she had written. Her hand was killing her and she may never be able to write again...but on the other hand, she had written through the entire night so considering she only had four-ish hours to live, not being able to write for the rest of her life really wasn’t so bad._

_God._

_She was going to die in four hours._

_Toni nearly burst into the tears at the thought but she had spent more of her life not caring whether or not she lived or died, so this wasn’t going to matter either, she decided as she put on a strong face, picked up her phone, and sent a message to Rhodey._

_‘Hey, honeybear. I miss you. How are you doing?’_

_The response came nearly a minute later. ‘I’m about to get on the road, head to the airport. I’m coming home, Tones. Miss you too.’_

_‘You miss my beautiful face, don’t you?’_

_‘Yes, that’s it. I miss your face and Dum-E.’_

_‘He’s missed you too; he keeps whining at night. I think he misses his fetch buddy.’_

_‘Tell him I’ll be home soon to play with him and keep you out of trouble as a big brother should.’_

_Tears stung Toni’s eyes and for a moment, she wasn’t able to respond. God, she was going to miss Rhodey so much. Him and his comforting hand during a difficult moment, his wisecracks during a tense one, and his protective ‘big brother’ side whenever Toni was feeling down._

_With a shaking hand, Toni typed, ‘I’ll tell him. Have a nice flight, honeybear! Love you, sweetcheeks.’_

_‘Uh, Tones, you are aware it’s me you’re talking to, right? Not Loki? xD Kidding! Love ya too, Tones! See you soon!’_

_Toni took a deep breath, set her phone aside, and went upstairs. She didn’t want to spend her last few hours alive, alone._

*****

When Loki entered the kitchen, she found the others had already gathered around the table and were eating a meal that appeared to have been prepared by Toni, who was waltzing around the kitchen in an apron that said: “Kiss the Chef.”

As she approached, Toni turned and gave her a plate of food, giving her a small but no less genuine smile at the sight of her before turning back to the stove where she was flipping pancakes.

Loki listened to the chat for a moment between her brother and Dr. Banner before she looked back to the apron. Subconsciously already having a plan in mind, Loki set her plate of food on the table before she walked over to Toni and tapped her on the shoulder.

Starting slightly, Toni turned to look at her. Loki moved without thought but with purpose as she cupped Toni’s jaw in her hand and pressed a chaste kiss to the corner of her mouth. “Your apron says ‘Kiss the Chef,’” she explained as she leaned back to give Toni her space. “I was merely following the directive.”

Toni’s eyes were somewhere between pained and amused as she placed her spatula on the counter and signed,  _“You missed.”_

_I know. And how I long to actually kiss you on the lips._

Instead of saying what was on her mind, Loki simply shrugged and took her place at the table. Thor winked at her knowingly, as did Dr. Banner, and Loki rolled her eyes at them as she took a bite of her food.

One day she would kiss Toni and it would be on the lips.

But today would not be that day.

Not too long after she began eating, Toni turned the stove off, grabbed two pancakes from the stack, and took a seat next to her. And as they both ate in contented silence, the rest of the team filled the room with varying conversations about battles, dogs, and whether or not Thor had seen a unicorn.

(He had because it had been Loki that had shifted forms to show her brother what a unicorn looked like.)

When the meal was finished, Toni stayed behind to do the dishes. Loki offered to help but someone else on the team offered first, causing Toni to shrug good-naturedly and hand the rag to Romanov instead of to her.

Deciding she would pass her morning with some light-hearted reading, Loki retired to her quarters to once get lost in the make-believe land of Shakespeare’s fairies and pixies in  _A Midsummer Night’s Dream._

She lost track of time after that and it wasn’t until she heard a quiet knock on her bedroom door that Loki looked up at her phone.  _Ten thirty._ She had passed almost two hours of time reading.

Setting her book aside with her dagger as a bookmark, Loki slid out of her chair and walked over to the door. “Toni,” she greeted with a smile when she saw the engineer standing outside her bedroom. “What can I do for you?”

_“May I come in?”_

Loki, although surprised by the question, nodded and took a step back, allowing the woman to enter the room. “Is there something you want to talk about?” she questioned as she took a seat on her bed, gesturing for Toni to do the same.

 _“Maybe,”_ Toni signed uncertainly as she sat down and faced Loki. A strand of hair fell from her ponytail, falling in front of her eyes, and Loki brushed it back without any hesitation, freezing when she recalled what usually followed such a gesture in a novel.  _A kiss._

Toni looked at her, something in her appearing more at ease for whatever reason as she signed,  _“Do you mind if I just hang out here for a little while?”_

Loki gestured around her room. “Be my guest.” She paused, thinking. “But don’t touch the container on the windowsill.”

 _“Oh?”_ Toni stood and walked over to it, signing over her back,  _“What’s so dangerous about it?”_

“I’m testing a new type of poison that sits out in the light and grows stronger with the more sunlight that is absorbed by it. I want to test how strong it will be by noon.”

Toni took several steps backward, looking startled.

Loki laughed, walking over to where Toni stood. She flicked her wrist and gently poured her magic into the container. There was a slight spark that quickly faded within a few seconds. “The fact that the spark went out means that my magic stronger than the poison still. I suppose we will have to wait and see what it will be like in...just over an hour now.”

Toni nodded absently.  _“Why are you doing this experiment?”_

“Curiosity,” Loki shrugged. “Why, do you have a better way for me to pass my time?”

 _“I could think of hundreds,”_ Toni smirked as she plopped down on the bed. Loki raised an eyebrow as she walked over to her bed and sat down. “Is that so?”

Amused, Toni began signing quickly:  _“Well, for one thing, you and I could be making out right now, or you could be pranking Thor, or you could be a pie out of carrots and green beans. The options are endless, really.”_

“A pie with carrots and green beans?” Loki made a face. “I enjoy your Midgardian sweets but I would not find this one a delicacy.”

_“Well, what sweets do you like?”_

Loki thought about it for a moment. “I do like carrot cake. But I enjoy most the little pastries you can get at a cafe with a cup of tea or hot chocolate.”

Toni looked thoughtful.  _“You would have loved my mother. She made scones, cupcakes, and bear claws all the time in the winter.”_

Loki smiled gently at her. “I’m sure I would have.”

Something tense flashed in Toni’s eyes and then her expression went from fond to dark. Sitting up, she looked at Loki and signed, _“Loki, there’s something I need to tell you.”_

Curious and confused at the same time, Loki shifted her position so she could look at Toni more easily. “What is it?”

“ _My curse will end today.”_

“Ten days,” Loki mused, intrigued. “I knew there was something you weren’t telling us. What else?”

_“I was cursed.”_

“Yes, we knew that already.” Loki frowned. “What aren’t you saying?”

Toni looked away.  _“There was something I needed to do by today in order to break the curse. I didn’t.”_

Loki wracked her brain for possible actions that Toni had needed to accomplish. But she could come up with no feasible response. “What did she tell you to do?”

For several long minutes, Toni made no attempt to communicate with her. Loki was about to restate the question when Toni signed meekly,  _“I needed to make the person I love, love me back.”_

Breathing was suddenly much harder to do than it ever was. Loki leaned forward and managed to whisper, “Who?” around the lump forming in her throat.  _Please don’t tell me, I don’t want to hear you say a name that is not my own. Please spare me the agony, Toni, please…_

Toni seemed to be thinking about if she wanted to respond or not when a dark circle appeared and began to circle her. Cold fear struck Loki in the chest and she reached for Toni, calling desperately, “Toni!”

For a single moment, there was hesitation and then Toni reached over, their fingers brushing before Loki secured a strong hold on Toni’s hand and held tight. With her left hand, Toni signed,  _“Loki, it’s-”_

And the circle wrapped around her swallowed her whole, leaving Loki clutching the air as Toni disappeared from her bedroom in a dark cloud of magic.

*****

_Every inch of her burned as the spell tore through her, leaving her breathless and weak as her temperature went from feverishly high to normal. Collapsing onto the ground, Toni rose shakily to her hands and knees and breathed heavily._

_The Witch circled her as her years once again melted away to reveal a young goddess. “Toni Stark, I am surprised.”_

_“So am I,” Toni coughed. “I wasn’t expecting to be able to talk again.”_

_“Could that possibly be because you were not allowing Loki to get too close to you?”_

_Toni glared up at her. “You know exactly why I couldn’t let that happen.”_

_She tilted her head curiously. “Before I cast my spell on you, I told you that you were depriving yourself of the chance to be in a loving relationship. I told you that you would receive the characteristics of the animal that you most closely related to in personality and that you would have ten days to make Loki fall in love with you or else you would die. You knew the end result, yet, you seemed determined not to allow Loki to spend time with you, lest she realize her feelings for you were true and admit to them. Why did you do this?”_

_“Maybe because I didn’t want to be dishonest?” Toni countered. “I mean, ‘hey, Loki, it’s your dying friend! Think maybe you could say you love me to spare my life?’ Not even she would hesitate to lie to save me. Besides, this isn’t_ _The Little Mermaid_ ,  _I wasn’t about to try to woo the person I have a crush on just so I could save my own life. She deserves better than that.”_

_“Better than you?”_

_“Anyone deserves better than me,” Toni snorted, rising to her feet. “I have to say, I did appreciate the sentiment behind me being like a kitten. I’ll even admit to thinking you were right. You made me think about somethings about myself, so kudos for that, but otherwise, your curse sucked and I was not a fan.”_

_The Witch’s hands gleamed. “I am sorry, Toni Stark. You knew this was coming and you did not try to preserve your own life. I tried to give you the opportunity to be happy, but you failed yourself. And now you must suffer the consequences.”_

_Running had done her no good before, so Toni simply hung her head and waited for the end to come._

_I love you, Loki._

*****

Doing her best not to allow her grief and panic to overshadow her mind, Loki threw her hands into the air and cast her magic over the city, trying to locate Toni’s signature so she could determine the mortal’s location. She was able to trace Toni’s signal back to the park where she had first been cursed, and Loki notified everyone of importance of the situation before she teleported herself to the park.

She  _had_ to get to Toni before the Witch acted out whatever punishment she had cursed Toni with if she had not- and she  _had not-_ followed out with her instructions.

It took two minutes to jog from one corner of the park to the other and it was under the bridge that Loki first saw Toni. She was standing with her head hung, appearing to have accepted her fate as the Witch created a black circle with her hands.

“Toni!” Loki yelled, sprinting towards the bridge as fast as she could go.

Startled, Toni flinched and turned, making eye contact with Loki even as her eyes widened. “Loki-”

The circle was swirling around Toni again and Loki gasped, her magic rising to the surface and throwing a shield of protection around Toni as she closed the distance between them. But it was too late.

Her shield reached Toni just as she faded from view with a pained, heartbroken look in her eyes as she whispered goodbye to Loki.

“ _No!”_ Loki cried out, reaching the spot that Toni had occupied only a moment before. She turned to the Witch, seething, but the woman merely raised a hand to halt her before her tirade could begin and said simply, “She failed her mission to make you love her.”

And then she was gone.

_“I needed to make the person I love, love me back,” Toni had said._

_“She failed her mission to make you love her.”_

Toni loved... _her?_

And she was gone because Loki  _hadn’t_ loved her back?

The irony in that statement was shattering. Loki screamed in agony and fell to her knees.

Toni was gone. And it was all because she hadn’t known that Loki loved her back.

*****

_“Your life could have been filled with so much joy, so much laughter, and love,” the witch said from behind Toni._

_Toni continued staring forward, not seeing but refusing to turn back to face the witch. “It could have been, yeah. In another life, maybe.”_

_“Why are you so adverse to the notion that Loki can return your feelings?” the witch asked curiously._

_“Uh, besides the fact that Loki doesn’t like me?”_

_“We aren’t thinking about the same Loki, clearly.”_

_Toni snorted. “Well, I don’t know who you’re thinking about, but it’s not my Loki.”_

_“Well, why love someone who hates you, then?”_

_“I…” Toni didn’t have a response to that. “Look, she didn't hate me. But that doesn’t mean she loved me. She merely...tolerated me. That’s all she did with anyone she was forced to talk to, she tolerated them.”_

_“And yet, you chose to love her?”_

_“I didn’t choose to love her. It just...happened. I guess.”_

_“What caused you to have these feelings for her?”_

_Toni shrugged. “She’s hot.”_

_The witch snorted. “We both know you are not as shallow as the media likes to portray you as. Indulge me with the truth, if you would please be so kind?”_

_“We hung out all the time, okay?” Toni sighed, lowering her head. “We would spend hours together in my workshop, making wisecracks, complaining about Team Asshole, and talking tech and magic. It was fun. It was nice. SHE was nice.”_

_“That’s still superficial,” the witch pointed out. “What aren’t you allowing yourself to admit?”_

_“We talked,” Toni admitted quietly. “When my insomnia was bad or if one of us had a nightmare, we would find each other. Don’t ask me how, but we would find each other all over the Compound when we needed someone... And we talked. It wasn’t just about magic or the weather or our mutual annoyance with Doctor Doom. We talked about our past, about our shitty fathers and what it was like growing up in the shadow of someone we’d never be as good as. Especially as females, I mean, God, Howard didn’t even think I was worthy to be his successor because I was a female, and you know what, I told Loki that and she understood what it was like because that was her with Odin and his throne. We even talked about Thanos and torture, a little. Turns out, I had a fair amount of things in common with the Goddess of Mischief and Lies. And somehow along the way, like a fool, I fell head over heels in love.”_

_“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”_

_“Well, it’s definitely not a good thing. You’ve clearly never loved someone who didn’t love you back or else you’d know exactly what I mean and stop pestering me about it.”_

_“You don’t think Loki loved you back?”_

_“Uh, no? Why would she? I mean, she’s hot as hell and for fuck’s sake, she’s a princess. She could have anyone she wanted. Why would she waste her time looking at someone like me?”_

_“Aren’t you like her?”_

_“I’ve gone through somewhat similar experiences as her, I suppose. But I’m nothing like her.”_

_“Opposites attract."_

_“Stop it. Loki’s said it herself, she doesn’t do sentiment. She doesn’t look twice at mortals. And for all I know, she only talked to me all those times just so she could gain my trust so she could betray me. God knows she wouldn’t be the first person to do that.”_

_“You are feeling bad for yourself.”_

_“You think? I’ve just been killed because I wasn’t willing to make Loki fall in love with a mute version of myself- which, by the way, if you really wanted me to get the girl, you wouldn’t have done the Little Mermaid shit. I mean, how was I supposed to make Loki love me if I couldn’t even communicate with her?!”_

_“You had your technology. Not to mention your good looks.”_

_“You sound like Ursula,” Toni snapped._

_“Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” the woman hummed, apparently refusing to say anything more on the subject._

_Toni resisted the urge to slam her head on something. “How am I able to talk to you?” she demanded after a long moment of silence. “Aren’t I dead?”_

_“Dead? Heavens, no. How could you possibly ‘get the girl’ as you put it if you were dead? No, dearie, don’t be ridiculous. You’re merely...missing from your dimension. I will return you once I have received my signal.”_

_“Signal?” Toni whirled around, staring at her. “What signal?”_

_“I loved her, Thor,” a frustrated, heartbroken, familiar voice said, sounding nearer to tears than Toni had ever heard her before. “I loved her and she’s gone because she didn’t know.”_

_The woman cocked her head curiously. “I’m such a great planner. Right on time, did you hear that?” she laughed gleefully. “That, my_   _котенок,_   _was the signal.”_

_A circle surrounded Toni but this time it wasn’t black. It was green and gold- with the gold being the color of Toni’s armor, not Loki’s. Toni stared at the circle with widening eyes. Did Loki-_

_No, it couldn’t be. Loki would never- she must have- she knew about the curse, so she must feel guilty for Toni ‘dying’..._

_“Be well, Toni Stark!” the witch shouted as Toni began to fade away from her. “You and Loki both!”_

_And then the world went black._

*****

Thor was the one who found her sat underneath the bridge with her head cushioned in her arms. “Loki,” he whispered, kneeling beside her. “Where is our friend?”

“She’s gone,” Loki said darkly, not lifting her head. “She is gone and she is not coming back.”

“What?” A newly arrived Rhodes demanded, staring at her. “What do you mean  _gone?_ Where is she? _”_

“She is dead. She was cursed with ten days to make something happen and she is dead because of my ignorance,” Loki snarled, lifting her head for the first time. She looked at the paling soldier through burning eyes. “She was supposed to make me love her but…she is  _dead_ and she is not coming back.”

Thor clasped her shoulder grimly. “I am sorry, sister. I know what she meant to you.”

“What she meant to me?” Loki laughed hysterically. “You have no idea how much she meant to me. No one does. Everyone thinks I am incapable of basic sentiment but I am not- I am  _not_ heartless and I know that because of her.” She closed her eyes harshly as tears stung her eyes. In a broken whisper, she managed to admit, “I loved her, Thor. I loved her and she’s gone because she didn’t know.”

Silence reigned in the park.

At least, until Loki’s cell phone rang. Growling in frustration, she reached into her pocket and accepted the call with a barely restrained snarl as she snapped, “What is it, Strange?”

“Do you mind explaining why I just read that Toni’s signature dissolved from the earth-”

“No.”

“And now just reappeared in the Compound in  _your bedroom?_ ”

Loki paused. “Beg your pardon?”

“Toni’s signature dissolved, signaling her loss of life, from this dimension, at least. And now her signature is suddenly present again and according to Wong, who went to investigate, she’s apparently unconscious in your bed. So, again, care to explain to me what happened?”

“She’s alive?”

“That is what I just said, yes,” Strange said, sounding annoyed. “Now-”

Loki hung up and tossed her phone to Thor, who caught it with ease despite his startled look. “Loki, what happened?”

“Something unexpected!” Loki cheered as she focused her magic. “I will update you later but Toni is alive!”

“What?!” Rhodes shouted, but Loki was already gone.

She ran into her bedroom and halted at the sight of Toni sleeping peacefully on her bed. The sight brought flashbacks of holding Toni during the night, of watching a movie with her in her bed… of watching as Toni disappeared for what Loki had thought to be forever.

Loki stumbled forward to her bed and collapsed to her knees, utterly relieved and frightened at the same time. What if Toni wasn’t sleeping but was actually...dead? What if this was  _her_ punishment for not telling Toni how she truly felt?

Reaching over, Loki pressed two shaking fingers to Toni’s neck.  _And there was a pulse._

Gasping in pure relief, Loki magicked a chair into existence, pulled it over to the side of the bed, sat down, took Toni’s hand in her own, and waited for the mortal to wake up.

As it turned out, she ended up waiting for well over twelve hours. In fact, Loki was half-asleep herself when there was a slight movement from the fingers clasped gently in her hand. Eyes widening, Loki sat upright and looked over at Toni just in time to see the woman’s eyelashes flutter.

Hardly daring to breathe, Loki watched in hopeful silence as Toni slowly blinked her eyes open. At first, panic flashed in her brown eyes as she struggled to recall what happened, but as Loki watched, Toni’s eyes fell on her and she visibly relaxed.

“Toni,” Loki whispered, the name sounding like a prayer as her eyes watered and she stared down at the mortal she had almost lost.

Toni’s eyes widened. “Loki…you’re here.”

Loki swallowed back the sob that was rising in her throat. “I watched you  _die_ ,” she informed her, voice breaking. “I watched you fade away without you knowing what you mean to me…”

Toni grimaced, eyes falling to their joined hands before she pulled her hand out of Loki’s. “Stop,” she pleaded. “You don’t have to...I’m not going to die so you don’t have to pretend that you… Look, nothing has to change. I know you…” She trailed off, her eyes pained. “Nothing has to change,” she repeated brokenly, “but if you want to stay away from me, it’s okay, I understand.”

“I know you love me,” Loki murmured.

The mortal flinched and wouldn’t meet her eyes. “I know because the witch told me,” Loki continued, “And she only told me because she knew I loved you back. She wanted me to say the words out loud so your life might be spared. That is why you are here, because I love you too _.”_

Toni was staring at her, her eyes open wide in shock and...hope. “Loki…”

Loki silenced her by leaning over her and covering her lips with her own in a soft, passion-filled kiss. The once-frosty edges of her heart burned with the warmth of the love that filled her as she felt Toni’s hand cup her jaw, angling her head a certain way so they could kiss more easily. Loki leaned down, not allowing any space between them as their mouths moved together in a perfect rhythm that Toni seemed happy to allow Loki to control.

When they separated for air, gasping, heat filled Loki at the disheveled look to Toni’s hair that fell in waves to her shoulders, at the way her lips were just barely swollen from their soft but many kisses. Toni was breathing heavily, her eyes wide but still filled with the same warm look that Loki was now starting to realize had always been Toni’s look for  _her._

“I want us to work,” Toni whispered, reaching up to brush a strand of Loki’s hair behind her ear.

Loki smiled down at her as she brushed her lips against Toni’s forehead. “We will,” she promised. “You caught my attention months ago, Toni Stark, and not many beings can say they have  _held_ my attention, but you have done so with ease. And because you have, I shall not let you go easily.”

Toni’s eyes gleamed. “Good, because I’m not letting you go either.”

Instead of bothering with a response, which seemed like a waste of their time given their proximity, Loki leaned down to kiss Toni again.

Her mother had always told her that one day she would find happiness and love with another being. And she was right. _Loki had._


End file.
